John Hasler: T. Shirt

Quotes 

• T-Bag : Where is she? Wait till I get my hands on her! I've bone to pick with that girl.

  T-Shirt : Yeah, a T-bone.

  T-Bag : I'm in no mood for your pathetic jokes, T-Shirt. Stop acting like a child.

  T-Shirt : But I am a child!

  T-Bag : That's no excuse.

• T-Bag : I'm starving! Famished.

  T-Shirt : Right, what would you like me to magic up?

  T-Bag : Well...

  T-Shirt : I recommend the chef's surprise.

  T-Bag : The chef's surprise. What's that?

  T-Shirt : Boo!

  T-Bag : [startled]  You stupid boy! Stop larking about. Teatime is serious. I'll make my own tea. Thank you very much.

• T-Bag : My head! My head! My head! I must find someone soon to assist that oaf Fife O'Clock. Where am I going to find somebody stupid enough, someone idiotic enough, someone gullible enough... to work in that dreadful, noisy, oily place. Where?

  T-Shirt : [bumps into T-Bag]  Where?

  T-Bag : I know where!

  T-Shirt : Where?

  T-Bag : [as she pokes T-Shirt in the chest]  Right there!