- Earl tries to return a set of precious silverware he stole from the public library. But when he discovers that it's gone, Randy, Joy and Crabman each reveal their own secrets about the whereabouts.
- Earl is pleased to hear that two of his neighbours are moving from the trailer park, because it will give him the opportunity to tackle a difficult item from his list: return a treasure that was buried under their trailer. Years back, Earl, Joy and Randy broke into the town library, which also served as the town's museum. They stole a box of silver cutlery, which they later heard on the news belonged to a Civil War general and was worth 2000 dollar. Earl went to his local fence Jasper, but he refused to buy the silverware because it had the general's initial on it. And since it had been all over the news, he considered it 'too hot'. Earl, Joy and Randy decided to bury the treasure in the trailer park and wait a few years until the commotion would die down.
Later that evening, Earl had an idea: if he couldn't sell the silver, he could hold it 'hostage' for money. He sneaked out of this trailer, dug up the treasure, made a picture of himself holding the treasure while masked, and reburied it. He assembled a ransom note out of cut-out letters to Dotty, the museum curator, arranging a drop-off of 2000 dollar in exchange for the silver. On the arranged day, Earl hid behind a bush near the Train Station, watching Dotty dropping a lunch bag with the money into a trash can, as demanded. Earl also noticed that Joy was passing by car (he recognized her distinct smoker's cough) and Randy walking nearby, but he thought nothing of it. He decided to wait a few minutes to pick up the bag, but then he saw a local vagrant looking for food pick the bag from the can. Before Earl could do something, the vagrant opened the bag and got sprayed by a paint bomb hidden inside, after which the man was arrested by several policemen dressed as civilians who had obviously been warned by Dotty. Earl remarks that the vagrant is on his list as well, and in retrospect, Karma must have been particularly angry with him for this bad deed, because the bush he hid behind spontaneously caught fire. Earl decided to leave it at that.
Earl begins to dig for the treasure, but it is not in its original spot. At this point, Randy starts narrating the story: it turns out that while they were at Jasper, his Russian wife overheard Earl and Jasper about the silverware. She scammed Randy by sending a henchman over to him, who told him that if he would invest 2000 dollar (or something of that value) in a shady deal, he would make back a fortune in profit. Randy was convinced, and actually dug up the silverware after Earl had taken a picture and reburied it. He gave the box of silverware to the Russian man, who told Randy his money was with his 'associate'; Randy had to go to the Train Station and ask that person for "the stuff" in order to get his money. Randy arrived there at the moment that Earl was awaiting the money drop-off. Randy asked a random passer-by for "the stuff", but the man mistook his request for a homosexual encounter. Randy decided to leave, was subsequently asked for something to eat by the vagrant, and pointed to the lunch bag he saw Dotty drop in the trash can. To conceal his fault, Randy tries to get Earl to dig in another place.
Joy is watching them as they dig around, and she takes the narration over from Randy. It turns out that she got suspicious of both Earl and Randy, and tried to scam them both. Just before Randy dug up the silver, she had already dug it up and replaced the silver with ordinary metal (so Randy never had the real silver). She thought that if the cutlery itself was impossible to sell, she could melt it into one puddle and just sell that. However, Joy's attempts with a blowtorch just created horribly charred and disfigured cutlery. She tried to sell it to Jasper, but he still was not interested. Joy decided to just bury the treasure in the place where her son Earl Jr. was conceived. On her way back, she threw her cigarette butt under the bush Earl was hiding behind, explaining why it caught fire all of a sudden.
Joy tells Darnell "Crab Man" about what she did, and that Earl and Randy will only get fake silverware if they find it. At this point, Crab Man starts taking over the narration. Some time after Joy buried the charred silver, Crab Man's pet Mr Fish (a goldfish, obviously) died because he had given him pepper instead of fish food, and he decided to bury him in the place where he and Joy had first made love ('coincidentally' also the place where Earl Jr. had been conceived). While digging, he discovered Joy's attempt to melt the silver. Thinking it was cutlery from the Stone Age, Crab Man delivered it to the museum, where it was put on display as such. Darnell just does not have the heart to tell Joy about this, because she is "just crazy".
Unable to find the buried treasure again, Earl decides that he must make amends by going to the museum and make a generous donation. While waiting there, he notices black and mangled cutlery from the Stone Age on display. Recognizing the initial in the metal, Earl realizes that the silverware is already back where it belonged. Although he has no idea how it got there, he can scratch this item off his list.
The episode ends with a voice-over from Dottie; but instead of another plot twist, she merely laments the fact that she is just a librarian and not a young sexy woman.
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