- Bill Pearson: [Pulls a pair of sexy panties out of the laundry] How come I've never seen you in these?
- Susan Pearson: Because they're your daughter's.
- Bill Pearson: Ohhhh!
- Bill Pearson: [Bill tried catching a potato but missed] That's my bad, receiver's gotta go up and get that.
- Lauren Pearson: Oh my God, are we this family now? All about the quarterback?
- Susan Pearson: Lauren, can't you be happy about your brother?
- Trent Pearson: No, no we can talk about something else, like how Lauren wants to get her bellybutton pierced.
- Lauren Pearson: How about if I pierce my tongue? then nobody'll know if I don't open my mouth?
- Trent Pearson: Oh I'm for that!
- Bill Pearson: OK, that was a really nice presentation Lauren but God gave you all the hols you're gonna ever need.
- Susan Pearson: What you're father is trying to say, is no piercings.
- Lauren Pearson: You guys are so... old!
- Susan Pearson: [holding a picture of Bill when he was around Lauren's age] So were you in some sort a Lynyrd Skynyrd cover band?
- Bill Pearson: [holding a picture of Susan at around the same age] Easy 'Oh Mickey you're so fine'!
- Bill Pearson: [after Lauren tricks them into thinking she got her naval pierced] You kids think you're funny, but you can't take back heart damage!
- Lauren Pearson: I didn't not do it because of what you guys said. I though about it and made an informed decision.
- Susan Pearson: Big needle get to you?
- Lauren Pearson: Not as much as the scary guy holding it.