- Gus Hedges: Geoff, what are the early signs of stress that we should look out for?
- Geoff: Well Gus, basically various key indicators, such as insomnia, anxiety dreams, short attention span, a morbid obsession with trivial symptoms, sudden changes of mood, temper tantrums...
- Dave Charnley: ...stabbing people...
- Geoff: ...sarcasm, irrational aggression, these are all possible indicators of a build-up of stress.
- Sally Smedley: You're saying I'm unpopular in the office?
- Gus Hedges: In some respects, yes.
- Sally Smedley: And what basis do you have for saying that?
- Gus Hedges: Well for a start there's the um, graffiti. In the lift. And in the toilet. And in the canteen. All of it, not... totally complimentary about you.
- Geoff: Yes, I think perhaps Gus we're getting *overly specific* here!
- Gus Hedges: What part of job strikes you as the most stress-creating bit?
- Damien Day: Oh that's easy - dealing with George.
- Gus Hedges: Why is that?
- Damien Day: Because he's always imposing silly restrictions: Don't do close-ups on fresh pools of blood, don't force entry into people's homes, you know stupid petty things like that.
- Sally Smedley: George is a waste of two filing cabinets worth of office space. He's weak, he's disorganised, he's...
- Gus Hedges: Uhh yes, I think I got this list from Alex.
- Alex Pates: God, I hate all this American bollocks.
- Gus Hedges: I think you're being a smidgen insular, Alex. This system has worked very well in Britain - for example, for stressed computer programmers in Milton Keynes.
- Henry Davenport: Of course they're stressed, they live in Milton Keynes!