Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (TV Series)

B-12 (2006)

Sarah Paulson: Harriet Hayes

Quotes 

• Matt Albie : All right, here it is. It's easy, but pay attention. "Spit-Take Theatre" same five actors, same set. It's going on the cards right now and we'll mark it during the next c-break. You speak in a Stentorian voice. On the first round of cards the actor third to the left of the person speaking does a spit-take. On the second round, the actor third to the left and to the immediate left does a spit-take, and on the final round anyone who isn't speaking does a spit-take. Good?

  Harriet Hayes : Wait, I made it through the week without getting sick and now we're ending the night with everybody spitting at me?

  Matt Albie : That's better. Everyone should just spit at Harriet.

• Harriet Hayes : Knock-knock.

  Tom Jeter : Oh God.

  Harriet Hayes : Knock-knock rook.

  Dylan Killington : Who's there?

  Harriet Hayes : Orange.

  Samantha Li : Banana!

  Harriet Hayes : Orange.

  Samantha Li : Banana! It's banana! Banana, banana, banana! Then you say orange, "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" Four-year-olds are telling this joke!

  Harriet Hayes : Okay, well calm down. I happen to be a member of the... what?

  Simon Stiles : Fallstaff.

  Harriet Hayes : Fallstaff Society.

• Harriet Hayes : I'm better than all of you, and the proof is, I got into the American Falstaff Society.

  Simon Stiles : I'm already in.

  Harriet Hayes : Alright. Then I'm better than three of you.

• Harriet Hayes : Matt!

  Matt Albie : Yeah.

  Harriet Hayes : I got into the Falstaff Society.

  Matt Albie : Hey, great! Are you the first woman?

  Harriet Hayes : I'm the eleventh woman.

  Matt Albie : Cool.

  Harriet Hayes : I am the first woman in the Great Lake region.

  Matt Albie : You're quite a pioneer!