Abby Hagyard: Valerie Prevort

Quotes 

• Doug Ptolemy : [in bed at night]  Mommy, Mommy! Help! My chair! There's an ugly thing in my chair!

  Valerie Prevort : [enters, snaps on the light, examines the gross thing sitting in Doug's chair]  Oh, Dougie! Aren't you ashamed of yourself? It's nothing but a ferocious monster.

  Monster : [in chair]  Nahhhhhhh!

  Doug Ptolemy : [relieved]  I thought it was a pair of pants all bent and rumpled. I can't stand wearing rumpled pants.

  Valerie Prevort : [leaving, snapping off the lights]  Go to sleep.

• [Kevin, Lisa's new boyfriend, is at dinner with her family when...] 

  Lisa Ruddy : Excuse me. I have to go powder my nose.

  Doug Ptolemy : You already spent an hour powdering your nose before HE came.

  Valerie Prevort : [to Doug]  Uh, when a lady says she's going to powder her nose, that's really just a polite way of saying she has to go to the bathroom.

  Doug Ptolemy : Ohhh. You know, Kevin, Lisa still powders her nose in bed, too.

• [Doug and Vanessa fight over a stuffed toy when Valerie enters] 

  Valerie Prevort : Now, can't the two of you just settle this like adults?

  Doug Ptolemy : Okay.

  Doug Ptolemy : [to Vanessa]  You'll be hearing from my lawyer.