Les Lye: El Capitano, Lance Prevort, Barth Baggs, Ross Ewich, Nasti, Mr. Schidtler, Doctor, Announcer, Blip, Snake-Eyes

Quotes 

• Announcer : Hobby Days will not be seen at this tme in order that we may bring you the following collection of garbage.

• Justin Cammy : It must drive you crazy having to torture kids all day long.

  Nasti : Vell, you know, kid, sometimes is does get to me.

  Justin Cammy : Well, why don't you take up a past-time of some sort?

  Nasti : I had vone. Oh, I loved it! I used to hunt volves, but I had to give it up.

  Justin Cammy : Well, why? What happened?

  Nasti : It was becoming addictive.

  Justin Cammy : Addictive? How could hunting wolves be addictive?

  Nasti : Vell, I was up to two packs a day.

• Vanessa Lindores : What kind of a past-time is this, shooting innocent children? Where on Earth did you get a hobby like that?

  El Capitano : Oh, as a matter of fact, it was from my last hobby - golf.

  Vanessa Lindores : Golf?

  El Capitano : Mm-hm.

  Vanessa Lindores : You started shooting kids through golf?

  El Capitano : Yeah, well, you see, one day I shot a birdie and it just snowballed from there.

• Mr. Schidtler : Today we are going to learn a few new words about collecting. Pay attention. Now, first, a person who collects stamps is called a fillatilist, someone who collects coins is called a pneumisma... masta... mastakist... kist... uh... a coin collector, and someone who is really interested in rocks is called a geli... geleologist. Any questions?

  Lisa Ruddy : Sir?

  Mr. Schidtler : Lisa.

  Lisa Ruddy : Does that mean that somebody who grows oranges for a hobby is called a Sunkist?

  Mr. Schidtler : SUN-kist? Gee... What...

  Mr. Schidtler : [looking skyward]  Where does the board of education get them and why do they keep sending them to ME?

• Doctor : Tell me, Wyatt, d'you like to help me with my hobby?

  Wyatt Boyd : It's not needlepoint, is it?

• Lance Prevort : [does a spittake]  WARM BEER?

  Justin Cammy : Sorry, Dad, but there's no more room for your beer in the fridge.

  Lance Prevort : Why not?

  Justin Cammy : You see, I've got my snowball collection in there.

  Lance Prevort : Your snowball collection? Why have you got a snowball collection? That's the strangest hobby I ever heard of.

  Justin Cammy : Yeah, I know, but just think, when I start a snowball fight in the summer, none of the other kids will stand a chance.

  Valerie Prevort : You know, Justin has a point there, dear.

  Lance Prevort : Valerie, don't encourage him.

• [Lance shows off his duck call collection to Vanessa] 

  Vanessa Lindores : I guess you're sorta like Mom's friend Madge. You know, the one who just moved to Australia.

  Lance Prevort : Oh, does she, uh, collect calls?

  Vanessa Lindores : No, she calls collect... every day.

• Lisa Ruddy : Wyatt, d'you hear about Barth's new hobby?

  Wyatt Boyd : Uh-oh.

  Lisa Ruddy : You see, every night, he goes down to the hockey rink and sits behind the goalie's net and he catches all the pucks that go into the audience. He's been doing it for years.

  Wyatt Boyd : Wow, he must have a huge collection by now.

  Lisa Ruddy : Well, no. Whadda you think's...

  Lisa Ruddy , Wyatt Boyd : [together with Lisa]  ... in the burgers.

  Barth Baggs : [waving a hockey stick]  Dyah, I heard that!

• Announcer : You Can't Do That On Television has been a Killing Time Production.