- Chris: I'd like all book reports to be on books that were made into movies.
- Ms. Morello: Are you high? I'm asking, not judging.
- Chris: Hey, Greg!
- Greg Wuliger: "Hey, Greg"? Did you see the school paper?
- Chris: We have a school paper?
- Narrator: Bush wasn't the first president who didn't read the paper.
- [Greg hands Chris a copy of the school paper]
- Chris: What did I lie about?
- Greg Wuliger: Apparently, you lied about everything.
- Narrator: The last true thing I said was, "My name is Chris and I'm running for president."
- Chris: I didn't mean any of that stuff. Caruso stole my speech. He's no better than me.
- Greg Wuliger: Yeah, but he didn't win. Now you're stuck with all those campaign promises.
- Chris: All presidents lie to get elected. What do they do?
- Greg Wuliger: Distraction. They just force the press to cover other more benign issues until the public loses interest in the story.
- Chris: Maybe we should ignore the problem till it goes away.
- Greg Wuliger: I was thinking more like setting the cafeteria on fire, but we'll try it your way first.
- Narrator: My father and Michael didn't get along because whatever my father said, my uncle said the opposite.
- Julius: [When Julius and Michael are at a car dealership] I like the Ford.
- Michael: I like the Chevy.
- Julius: [When Julius and Michael are at an art museum] I wanna look at Picasso.
- Michael: I wanna look at Matisse.
- Julius: [When Julius and Michael are drinking beer] Hmm. Tastes great!
- Michael: Less filling.
- Julius: [to Chris] You all right?
- Chris: Yeah. I'm just having some problems at school.
- Narrator: You're president. What kind of problems could you have?
- Chris: I made some campaign promises that I can't deliver, so now they want to impeach me.
- Julius: That's what you get.
- Chris: What?
- Julius: How'd you like it if I said I was gonna do something for you and didn't do it?
- Chris: Okay, so then what should I do?
- Julius: I don't know. I didn't promise to tell you what to do, but you got yourself in this mess. Whatever happens, happens, but it's your responsibility.
- Narrator: My father didn't believe in making promises which was tough for him because they were free.
- Lisa: [to Chris] I think you're a fraud. I think you were lying then, and I think you're lying now.
- Greg Wuliger: This is totally unfair because you've got a personal ax to grind.
- Lisa: What ax?
- Greg Wuliger: Your boyfriend Ping is running with Caruso and he lost. You just want revenge.
- Lisa: Ping is not my boyfriend.
- Greg Wuliger: He's not?
- Lisa: No!
- Greg Wuliger: Say, what are you doing after school?
- Chris: Greg!
- Greg Wuliger: Sorry!
- Mrs. Milone: The point is, Chris, the students run the student government, and they can do what they want.
- Chris: And I can't do anything.
- Mrs. Milone: That's not true. Maybe you can talk them into letting you stay in office.
- Ms. Morello: That's a good idea. Give another one of those speeches. But if I can make a suggestion. Maybe this time, you should try rhyming.
- [does a little dance]
- Narrator: Maybe you should try Prozac.
- Chris: [to Greg] Did you know I didn't have any power?
- Greg Wuliger: What are you talking about you got no power? You're the president.
- Chris: I'm a figurehead, like Mayor McCheese. Like Colonel Sanders. Like Dr. Detroit.
- Greg Wuliger: [to Chris] I thought being president would help make us more popular and help solve some problems. All it did was cause more problems and make more people hate you.
- Chris: [while reading the school paper] "Heist By Class President Foiled as Impeachment Looms"?
- Greg Wuliger: [to Lisa] This is outrageous!
- Chris: How are you going to call me a liar? You're the liar. I'm not guilty. They found the real guys five minutes later.
- Lisa: I had a deadline. School was out in an hour and a half.
- Chris: You couldn't wait 30 minutes to find out whether your story was true or not?
- Lisa: You're the class president. This is the news. We wouldn't have printed it if you hadn't exhibited a pattern of behavior.
- Chris: What pattern?
- Narrator: Maybe I was guilty.
- Greg Wuliger: [to Lisa] You're supposed to be a journalist. You can't in good conscience let this stand without printing a retraction. He's gonna lose his office.
- Lisa: I promise I'll print a retraction.
- [walks off]
- Greg Wuliger: [to Chris] What are you gonna do?
- Chris: I don't know. What can I do?
- Narrator: After talking to Greg, I imagined what my father would say to me.
- Julius: [to Chris] So you just gonna quit, huh? All these people who made it possible for you to become the first black class president, and now you just gonna quit?
- Tuskegee Airman: Yeah. And what if we quit? Black people would never have become pilots.
- Aunt Jemima Chef: If I had quit, pancakes would taste like crap.
- Cream of Wheat Chef: If I had quit, Cream of Wheat would've been called "Cream of White!"
- Uncle Ben Chef: If I had quit, it would take hours to cook rice.
- Greg Wuliger: [to Chris] Well, we had a good run and we made history.
- Chris: Yeah, I know. I was the first class president ever to be impeached.
- Greg Wuliger: I wonder who's going to replace you.
- Chris: Probably Dipaolo.
- Greg Wuliger: Great. We're gonna have an idiot for president.
- Narrator: Who knew Greg could see into the future?