- Miss Davenport: They say gentlemen prefer blondes. Also those who are very far from gentlemen, as one soon finds out.
- [first lines]
- Billy: Hey, do you think Alexander the Great used to have a pack lunch?
- Clegg: Oh, you can't go conquering without a pack lunch. They couldn't drop in to a Jumbo Burger.
- Truly: History never gets down to these revealing details, like, uh... did the man have a painful corn, so he had to wear sandals?
- Alvin: He'd have a corn specialist amongst his retinue, and an ear, nose and throat guy.
- Billy: He died young, though, didn't he?
- Truly: Well, maybe his corn went septic.
- Clegg: Well, I expect if they were riding all day they probably got their corns somewhere else.
- Billy: Stands to reason he'd have a pack lunch. I'll bet his mother said, "You can't go conquering the known world on an empty stomach."
- Truly: Aye. "Keep off those oily foreign foods," she said. "Eat your greens."
- Alvin: "And don't let me catch you up those mountains without a woolly vest."
- Clegg: Do you think that's why he left home?
- Billy: Probably.