Leave It to Beaver (TV Series)

Cleaning Up Beaver (1958)

Hugh Beaumont: Ward Cleaver

Quotes 

• Ward Cleaver : If we start praising Wally in front of The Beaver for being neat, Beaver'll get the idea. All kids want the approval of their parents.

  June Cleaver : Well, I just hate to see you force it. Maybe The Beaver will outgrow being sloppy.

  Ward Cleaver : [shifting into facetious mode]  Oh, June, that's not the modern approach. You can't wait for kids to outgrow things.

  June Cleaver : No?

  Ward Cleaver : No, you have to send them to orthodontists, psychologists... they've even got experts to teach children how to play. No self-respecting parent would dream of relying on nature any more.

• June Cleaver : Ward, why do you always put the silverware backwards?

  Ward Cleaver : Oh that's a hangover from my prep school days. We always did it that way. It was our method of striking back at the social order.

• June Cleaver : You know dear, I'm afraid we hurt the Beaver's feelings last night.

  Ward Cleaver : Well we may have hurt him a little bit, but I think we got the message across.

  June Cleaver : Well I wish we could get the message across with love and kindness.

  Ward Cleaver : Oh cheer up June. If everything else fails we can always resort to that.

• June Cleaver : Y'know, it's funny.

  Ward Cleaver : [Ward is in old clothes, painting the kitchen door]  What's funny?

  June Cleaver : The human male goes through three stages. From a messy little boy in dirty jeans and a sweatshirt to a neat young man. He gets married and he goes right back to the dirty jeans and the sweatshirt.

  Ward Cleaver : Dear, uh, a married man being neat is like running for a bus after you've caught it.

  June Cleaver : Ha, ha, ha. Aren't we the kitchen comedian, though.

• Ward Cleaver : When girls come in the door, dirt goes out the window.

• Ward Cleaver : It's a wonderful thing about brothers; blood is thicker than dirt.