- New York Subway Driver: Hey, that creepy lizard just stole the subway!
- Spider-Man: [Spider-Man has a mild cold] This sneezing is the pits. It's making old Spidey look like Super Klutz.
- The Lizard: You're wasting your time, Spider-Man! Have you forgotten that spiders are nothing bug lizard food?
- Spider-Man: Hmm, either my stomach's growling, or there's an awfully big gorilla standing behind me.
- [looks around]
- Spider-Man: Oh well, at least my stomach's okay.
- Spider-Man: [sneezes] Excuse me, uh, I'd like to see the doctor.
- Nurse: Your name?
- Spider-Man: Spider-Man.
- [sneezes]
- Nurse: How do you spell that?
- Spider-Man: A.C.H.O.O.
- Nurse: Hmm, interesting last name.
- Doctor: Don't be frightened, Spider-Man, this won't hurt a bit.
- Spider-Man: Yeah, that's what the Hulk said just before he threw me off the Empire State Building.
- Doctor: Uh, you'll, eh, you'll have to take off your mask if I am going to examine you properly.
- Spider-Man: Forget it, doc. My true identity is a well-kept secret. Who knows, you might recognize my tonsils.