- Dr. Robotnik: How dare anyone on Mobius laugh at the great Dr. Robotnik! No one makes fun of me! NO ONE!
- Dr. Robotnik: Your new issue of Crack-Ups will be all about me! I'll show Mobius how I really am! Start drawing!
- [Sketch begins drawing]
- Dr. Robotnik: No, no, thinner! More muscles, more handsome.
- [Sketch draws a muscular Robotnik]
- Dr. Robotnik: Yes, that's it! My eyes like pools, my teeth like polished ivory! That's what I look like!
- Sketch Lampoon: [squawks and whistles] In your dreams.
- Dr. Robotnik: [struggles to get up from a pile of rubble] Help me! Help! Help me! I've fallen and I can't get...
- [cries heavily]
- Dr. Robotnik: I hate that hedgehog!
- [in a mocking singsong]
- Sonic: La la laa, stalling for time, / La la laa, stalling for time. / La la laa...
- Sonic: [after hearing that Sketch Lampoon has been kidnapped] Well, I've got a pretty good idea who did it.
- Miles 'Tails' Prower: Robotnik?
- Sonic: If he thinks he can lock people up just for making fun of him, he's got another thing coming.
- Miles 'Tails' Prower: [looks at his comic] Hey, Sonic, look! There's a free poster of you in this issue!
- Sonic: [looks at the poster] Hey, aren't I taller than that?
- Sonic: Hey, it's Sketch Lampoon!
- Sketch Lampoon: [gasps] Sonic the Hedgehog?
- Sonic: [rushes to his cell] Mr. Lampoon, I'm your biggest fan. That Humpty Dumpty thing was hilarious.
- Sketch Lampoon: [whistles] Well, thanks, kid! Heh heh. What do you think of the Sonic poster?
- Sonic: Aren't I... a little taller?
- Sketch Lampoon: [squawks and whistles] Everyone's a critic.
- Sketch Lampoon: Boy, am I glad to see you!
- [squawks and whistles]
- Sonic: 'Cause your cell's crumblin' all around you?
- Sketch Lampoon: No, 'cause if I had to draw one more panel of Robotnik's life story, I'd have gone cuckoo!