So Weird (TV Series)
Will 'O the Wisp (2001)
Cara DeLizia: Fiona 'Fi' Phillips
Photos
Quotes
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Fi : Give me my brother back, please.
Bricriu : Oh, dear girl, all you need do to be rid of me is to say in a loud, clear voice "Be gone from this mortal form."
Fi : Be gone from this mortal form.
Bricriu : Hmm... try it louder.
Fi : [shouting] Be gone from this mortal form!
Bricriu : Come now, girl, give it some oomph!
Fi : [shouting] Be gone from this mortal form!
Bricriu : [laughs] I'm sorry, I forgot one small detail. It doesn't work unless you invoke my one true name.
Fi : What is it?
Bricriu : Ah, therein you see lies the sweet spunkie's game. I'll give you a go at guessing my name. Though measured in seven, no more and no less, choose well, me lass, for you've only one guess. You have until I've finished absorbing Jack's memory.
Fi : How am I supposed to guess your name? It could be anything.
Bricriu : A hint: it's not Rumpelstiltskin.
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Bricriu : So, what's on your mind, "sis"?
Fi : I want to make another deal.
Bricriu : Oh, please...
Fi : No, I'm serious. I've been checking up on fairy tales. In "Rumpelstiltskin", the girl gets unlimited guesses. I want the same courtesy.
Bricriu : Unlimited guesses... and in return, I would get - ?
Fi : You understand Jack now. But you don't understand the mortal world. If I lose, I'll be your guide. You'll be president; heck, I'll be your Secretary of State.
Bricriu : Hmm, you wicked, wicked girl. I misread you, little duck. Well, I do want to get back, so I'll give you all the guesses you can make in an hour.
Fi : An hour?
Bricriu : Best I can do.
[Fi sets up her laptop where a screen with seven letters is waiting]
Bricriu : What is that?
Fi : It's a program Jack made so he'd never lose at Hangman.
Bricriu : What's it doing?
Fi : It's cycling through every one of the eight billion seven-letter combinations. Those will be my guesses and, by the way, I won't need the whole hour.
Bricriu : [nervous] This is cheating! You're not guessing out loud. You're using a *machine* to help you. I don't have to stand here and watch this.
[he tries to walk away, but he cannot]
Fi : By the rules of Celtic magic, you do! You are obligated to stand here and wait 'til I'm done with my guesses.
Bricriu : You don't know what you're dealing with, girl. You need me. You're puny brother can't protect you the way that I can.
Fi : Yeah, protect me from what?
Bricriu : Do you really think I chose your brother by accident? Out of all the bodies in the world? They know about you. They know what you're up to.
Fi : They?
Bricriu : Those in the spirit world. They've been watching you sniff around, following the lay lines like a little bloodhound. They want you stopped and believe me, I'm a saint compared with that lot. Talk about no sense of humor.
