- Roseanne: [as Becky still goes silent on her] I was in here doing some cleaning today, and, uh, I came across your diary. Well, diaries.
- [Becky slowly turns to her in shock]
- Roseanne: I didn't read it, though. I almost did, but then I thought, I don't want to violate my kids' privacy the way my mom violated mine. So, I put it back under the mattress.
- Becky: [finally speaks to her, half-sarcastic] So, what do want, a prize?
- Roseanne: [satisfied] Thanks, you just gave me one.
- Dan: [about Becky fighting with Roseanne] This is between you and Becky. Bringing me into it, is just going to make it seem like I'm on your side... which, which I am.
- Roseanne: No you're not. You're neutral as usual! Dan "Switzerland" Conner! You just don't want to get involved because she still thinks you're "Mr. Perfect"!
- D.J.: Darlene threw a sneaker at me.
- Dan: Darlene, what's the matter with you?
- Darlene Conner: I know, I missed him. I shouldn't have rushed the throw.
- Jackie Harris: This is Becky's Diary
- Roseanne: You think that's like the X-Rated version
- Jackie Harris: If she's having any fun that it