Salute Your Shorts (TV Series)

Michael Comes to Camp (1991)

Michael Bower: Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen

Quotes 

• Bobby Budnick : You are roasted...

  Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen : toasted...

  Bobby Budnick , Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen : [together]  ... and burnt to a crisp.

• Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen : I can hock a loogie eight feet in the air and catch it with my tongue.

  Michael Stein : Well, your mother must be really proud.

• Bobby Budnick : I don't like this new guy. He's athletic and popular.

  Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen : Yeah, everything we're not.

  Bobby Budnick : So how are we gonna take him down?

  Bobby Budnick , Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen : [smirking to each other]  Secret Society!

• Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen : Someday I'm gonna ask her out.

  Bobby Budnick : Stop dreamin' and glue your macaroni onto somethin'.

  Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen : I can't.

  Bobby Budnick : Why not?

  Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen : I ate it.

  Bobby Budnick : You ate your macorni?

  Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen : Yeah.

  Bobby Budnick : How? It's uncooked, rock hard, and covered with yellow spray paint.

  Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen : I thought that was cheese.

• Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen : whoa! power puke!

• Dina Alexander : I've had dinner with Janet Jackson.

  Michael Stein : [to Telly]  You know what? You and I have the same shoes.

  Telly Radford : Cool!

  Dina Alexander : We've had Norwegian salmon. Oooh, all the way from Norweg.

  [Michael and Telly stare at her] 

  Dina Alexander : Doesn't anybody care?

  Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen : [comes up behind her]  I care!

  Dina Alexander : Oh, your breath smells like a wet diaper.

  Eddie 'Donkeylips' Gelfen : Huh?

  Dina Alexander : Get lost.

  [scoffs]