- Laura Petrie: Do you notice you're a nut?
- Rob Petrie: Only about things automotive. I'll outgrow it all right.
- Laura Petrie: When?
- Rob Petrie: Well, I don't know. When I get a new helicopter, I guess.
- Rob Petrie: What's the sense of having a new car if you can't have your best friends envious of you?
- Rob Petrie: You know what the great thing about this car is?
- Laura Petrie: That you can't bring it into the house.
- Buddy Sorrell: Hey, you ever see one of those Tarantulas?
- Sally Rogers: No.
- Buddy Sorrell: They are built so close to the ground, if you wanna get in you gotta come up through a manhole.
- Buddy Sorrell: You let Laura drive your new bedbug?
- Sally Rogers: Tarantella.
- Rob Petrie: Tarantula.
- Sally Rogers: Oh, yeah. I forgot.
- Sally Rogers: ALL women are wonderful drivers! It's just that those men-designers have done everything they can to confuse us. First, they put the starter on the dashboard, then they put it on the floor next to the accelerator, then it's on the left, then it's on the right. First, they put the stick shift on the floor, then they put it on the wheel and it's "automatic," then they put it between the two seats an it's NOT "automatic." Do you know that I once pushed in a cigarette lighter on the highway and I went in reverse?
- [Rob's highly agitated over finding a scratch on his new car]
- Sally Rogers: Well, Rob, take it easy. It's only paint. It'll heal.
- Millie Helper: Look, it wasn't your fault the car got scratched, right? But is Rob gonna believe that? No, he's gonna use it as an example against women drivers, and you'll be giving our whole wonderful sex a black eye.
- Buddy Sorrell: [overhearing Rob] Beautiful, fast and quiet? Impossible! There's no such woman!
- Buddy Sorrell: [to Sally] Hey, what's he talkin' about?
- Sally Rogers: [gesturing to Rob] Fell in love with a Tarantula.
- Buddy Sorrell: So what? I married one.
- Millie Helper: The car's insured, isn't it?
- Laura Petrie: Yes, but I'm not. Millie, Rob will kill me when he finds out.