- Audrey Dexter: [feeling Phyllis' sweater] It's so soft! What's it made of?
- Phyllis Lindstrom: Virgin wool.
- Audrey Dexter: I've always wondered, how do they know which sheep are and which sheep aren't?
- Judge Jonathan Dexter: [Enters wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt] Aloha, wahinis!
- Audrey Dexter: Oh, well, it looks like Mexico for us.
- Judge Jonathan Dexter: No, Audrey, I decided on Hawaii. I heard the call of the Islands and I could not resist. I was stationed in Hawaii during World War II, and it was particularly beautiful.
- Audrey Dexter: Oh, Jonathan, there'll be other wars just as beautiful.
- Phyllis Lindstrom: The office Christmas party. Don't you usually have one?
- Harriet Hastings: Not since I worked here.
- Phyllis Lindstrom: Why not?
- Harriet Hastings: I don't know.
- Leonard Marsh: Well, maybe it's because we're public servants. We're supposed to represent all the people. If we started celebrating Christian holidays, it might look like we're prejudiced against pagan savages.
- Leonard Marsh: Well, I'm only thinking of you, Dan. You're driving yourself too hard. Look at those lines on your forehead - two more and you could screw your hat on!
- Leonard Marsh: Hey, where are we gonna hang the mistletoe?
- Phyllis Lindstrom: Hangin's too good for it! Let's shoot it!
- Phyllis Lindstrom: Dan, you're a very nice man. You are fair and conscientious and kind. But you are also the biggest boob I ever met in my life! I'm not saying that just because you don't want to go that silly party out there. That party's not important. What is important is that this is supposed to be a time for joy, and you don't seem to care about that. If this was two thousand years ago, and an angel appeared and said, "Come to Bethlehem and celebrate the birth of the Savior," you would've said, "Sorry, I can't make it. I gotta work tonight." Christmas means happiness, giving, and love. And if you don't understand that, I feel very sorry for you.