- Turner Claymore: Here at Berm-Tech we offer you a handshake, whether you have hands, hooks, or flippers.
- Otto Granberry: Mike wasn't a vampire.
- Turner Claymore: If that's true, why did he recoil in terror when I shoved a crucifix in his face?
- Otto Granberry: He was Jewish.
- [first lines]
- Jewel Hightower: Morning Otto.
- Otto Granberry: Good morning.
- Jewel Hightower: Long meeting, huh?
- Otto Granberry: Yeah. I don't think lunch'll ever get here.
- Jewel Hightower: You hungry?
- Otto Granberry: Little bit...
- [last lines]
- Otto Granberry: Long meeting, huh?
- Pearl Stricklett: I didn't think lunch would ever get here.
- Otto Granberry: You hungry?
- Pearl Stricklett: Starving...
- Otto Granberry: Turner, there's no such thing as vampires.
- Turner Claymore: Then how come the only way I could kill him was to drive that wooden stake through his heart?
- Otto Granberry: Did you try any other ways?
- Turner Claymore: No. How naive do you think I am? He's a vampire. A vampire requires a wooden stake, through the heart. You wouldn't eat spaghetti with a skateboard would you Otto?
- Otto Granberry: What?
- Turner Claymore: It's a simple question to which the answer is no, you wouldn't eat spaghetti with a skateboard because, it's the wrong tool for the job.