- Nurse: Let me explain from behind this cage. Now, your pills have become very expensive and no one could give a rat's ass about you. So after a lot of thought, we decided to let you go cold turkey. For those of you who will survive the night, we'll be having waffles.
- Jasper Beardly: Ooh waffles!
- Grampa Simpson: I didn't die in World War II just to be pushed around by some pill-hoarding hussy! I'm gonna fight this thing!
- Old Jewish Man: Agh, he's crazy, but what are you gonna do? He's young.
- Canada Border Guard: [Sees Apu Hollering with a Towel wrapped around his head and assumes he is a terrorist] Stop him! He's expressing his faith, eh!
- Canadian Flanders: Well, circle-cut my bacon! Look at all these Yankee-Doodly-Dandies! Is there another Vietnam goin' on?
- Ned Flanders: Hello, neighborino to the North! I sure like the cut of your gibberish!
- Canadian Flanders: Coin-dodily-diddly. Diddly-daddly. Di-di-doodly. Noodly-daddly-diddly-doodly. Shat-a-diddly-daddly-atner. Doodly-dodly-diddly-dodly.
- Ned Flanders: [simultaneously] Diddly-oodly. Diddly, oodly. Oodly-oodly. Maply-aply. Diddly-oodly.
- Canadian Flanders: Say, would you like to puff on a reeferino? It's legal here.
- Ned Flanders: They warned me Satan would be attractive. Let's go!
- English-speaking Canadian prison guard: We've confiscated your car and its contents.
- French-speaking Canadian prison guard: Nous avons confisqué votre voiture et ses contenu.
- English-speaking Canadian prison guard: You may leave Canada, but never return.
- French-speaking Canadian prison guard: Vous êtes permée du quitter au Canada, mais vous n'avez pas le droit de rentrée.
- English-speaking Canadian prison guard: I am a big fat French idiot.
- French-speaking Canadian prison guard: Je suis un grand gros... hey!