- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: My name is Anthony, my friends call me Tony, which backwards is "y not"
- Tomas Zepeda: You're either DEA or Immigration. You're not FBI. They wear suits.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: NCIS.
- Ceasar Bernal: Navy cops.
- Tomas Zepeda: What'd we do to piss you off? Come on, man. We get blamed for everything these days. Help me out. We steal the Admiral's car?
- Ceasar Bernal: Or his calzoncillos?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You killed two Marines. The first in a drive-by shooting. The other in Rock Creek Park.
- Tomas Zepeda: Take me away.
- [motions to other gang members]
- Tomas Zepeda: You want one of them instead? Go with the Federales, they need a suspect.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: We know who did it.
- [puts photos on the table]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: You can keep those.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Don't look surprised.
- Tomas Zepeda: I never seen them before.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: They used to run your organization.
- Tomas Zepeda: Organization? We're a social club.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You're not El Jefe.
- Tomas Zepeda: No? Who am I?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: "El Gordo"?
- [Spanish, "The fat one?"]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [everyone in the restaurant laughs] See? Nobody laughs at the boss. You have El Jefe give me a call, or I book him the next seat on the flight to Gitmo.
- Tomas Zepeda: You can't do that. We're not terrorists.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Ziva?
- Officer Ziva David: I'll have Tel Aviv produce an intercept between Al Qaeda and this... social club. You want photos?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: That would be good.
- Officer Ziva David: It might take me twenty-four hours.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Okay. Twenty-four hours.
- [watching McGee interview a suspect]
- Officer Ziva David: McGee is a capable interrogator. He can be quite intimidating when he wants to be.
- [inside]
- Ceasar Bernal: You can't keep me in here like this!
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: No, actually I can. You see, La Vida Mala has suspected links to al-Qaeda. So all I have to do is say the word "terrorist," and I can keep you in this room until you grow old and die.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [impressed] That... actually was intimidating.
- Marine Lance Corporal Jose Silva: How much trouble am I in, sir?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Trouble? Why would you say that?
- Marine Lance Corporal Jose Silva: Four NCIS agents escorting one lance corporal?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You got it all wrong, Marine. She's Mossad.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I could leave.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: [opens the bag he brought] Salvadorian food, how *fried*.
- [Gibbs gets up to leave]
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: I'm sorry, stay.
- [McGee shows Tony the stubble he's growing]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: DiNozzo.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Hey, boss.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Why are you touching his face?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I don't know. It feels good, though. It's like a bunny rabbit.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [slapping Tony's head] Don't.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Sorry.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Two kids found the First Sergeant floating under six inches of ice.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Ice, that means...
- Officer Ziva David: You're going to make a really juvenile cold case joke?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: It's a really good one, too.
- Abby Sciuto: My Army. Major Mass Spec. Captain Comparison Microscope. Ensign...
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Isn't an army rank. It's actually navy.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: [Gibbs is trying to read something in dim light] Where are your glasses?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Forgot them.
- [Shepard then hands him her glasses]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: DiNiozzo! Where the hell have you been?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I come bearing gifts. Spent the night at Rock Creek Park, and I found these when they drained the pond.
- [produces a trio of guns]
- Officer Ziva David: Whoa! That's a big one.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You expecting an "attaboy"?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I thought it would be nice.
- [Tony flinches in anticipation of getting slapped on the head]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [stroking the back of Tony's head] Attaboy.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I was just doing my job, boss.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I know that!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: It's not about being gay. It's about image.
- Officer Ziva David: So your image is homophobic?
- Officer Ziva David: [translating an intercepted phone call] Oh, and a double feature is scheduled.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Movies?
- Officer Ziva David: Nope. Two "hos" are coming over for something called a "rainbow party."
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: So, I'm not tough?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: If you have to ask...
- Officer Ziva David: I think Tony was jerking your brain.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Chain! Jerking my chain?