- Narrator: Somehow, that odd little look Miss Grandy gave you seemed to haunt you.
- [as Johnny lies awake in bed, an massive image of Miss Grandy's face appears beside him as he remembers her expression]
- Tom Servo: [as Johnny] Oh, hi Miss Grandy- EAAAAAAGH! AAAAAAAH! GET AWAY!
- [Batwoman picks up a telephone in a skimpy outfit]
- Crow T. Robot: [in a girly voice] Good morning, College Republicans.
- [upon seeing the title "Cheating"]
- Crow T. Robot: A Centron production! Although we got the idea from another company. Because we're cheating.
- Batwoman: Stay where you are.
- Rat Fink: All right, I will.
- Mike Nelson: Ah, the compliant villain. Can-do.
- [During a musical sequence on "Wild World of Batwoman"]
- Mike Nelson: [singing] And yes, the devil made this movie for you.
- [watching girls dance in "The Wild World of Batwoman"]
- Mike Nelson: We're in the middle of a k.d. lang fantasy here.
- [Mike asked the bots to do a report on cheating]
- Gypsy: Cheating. Cheating is bad. Richard Basehart is good.
- Gypsy: Tom! C'mon, Tom. Sure Crow's made a mistake, but we should have compassion. Remember, my gumball-headed young friend, The quality of mercy is not strained; It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath.
- Tom Servo: Gypsy, he stole from YOUR essay.
- Gypsy: Really?... FRY HIM! FRY HIM! I WANT HIS FAMILY DEAD! I WANT HIS HOUSE BURNED TO THE GROUND!
- Mike Nelson: Gypsy, calm down. This isn't getting us anywhere.