Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

Mitchell (1993)

Trace Beaulieu: Crow T. Robot, Dr. Clayton Forrester

Photos 

Quotes 

• Crow T. Robot : This makes "Driving Miss Daisy" look like "Bullitt!"

• Mitchell : That's the first piece of information you've had all night.

  Crow T. Robot : How about letting *us* in on some?

• Crow T. Robot : [a car door slams offscreen]  What was that? Oh.

• Tom Servo : [spoofing Shaft's theme song]  Who's the puffy guy who's the big blurry sex machine?

  Crow T. Robot , Tom Servo : Mitchell!

  Tom Servo : That Mitchell is one fat...

  Crow T. Robot : Shut your mouth!

  Tom Servo : I'm just talking about Mitchell.

• Crow T. Robot : [in the middle of watching Mitchell and Greta having sex]  My, my, my, my God! NOOOO!

• Dr. Forrester : Ah, nothing like a good shower to make one feel good again, huh? I feel great! Nothing can get in the way of my good mood. What's going on, Frank?

  TV's Frank : Oh, not much. Inventory's under control... floor needs mopping... Joel escaped from the Satellite of Love...

  Dr. Forrester : Well, I see you got the situation well in hand... What? Joel escaped from the Satellite of Love?

  TV's Frank : Well, I better get started on that floor.

  Dr. Forrester : Frank, my towel and your hinder have an appointment. But first, we got to rescue Joel. Oh, no! No! Frank, he's landed safely in the Australian outback.

  TV's Frank : Let's hope he landed on Yahoo Serious.

  Dr. Forrester : Well, that's a good point, Frank, 'cause... Frank, can't you see we're ruined? What are we gonna do?

  TV's Frank : Well, we can send someone else into space.

  Dr. Forrester : Who are we gonna find at this late date to send into space?

  Mike Nelson : Would you guys sign my time card?

  Dr. Forrester : [Forrester and Frank exchange a look]  Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

  TV's Frank : Yeah, you're not gonna sign his time card, are ya?

  Mike Nelson : C'mon, you gotta sign my time card.

  Dr. Forrester : Of course I'll sign your time card, young man. In fact, I think you're going to be working for me for a long, long time. Push the button, Frank. Say Mike, what size jumpsuit do you wear?

  Mike Nelson : Uhh...

• [watching the end of 'Mitchell'] 

  Crow T. Robot : You know, at this stage in any killing spree, you really ought to turn the gun on yourself.

  Crow T. Robot , Tom Servo : [chanting]  Turn it! Turn it! Turn it! Turn it!

  Joel : Hey! Hey!

• Crow T. Robot : [as police chief]  Well you're rich and white. I don't see a problem with it.

• Crow T. Robot : [seeing murder victim's outline]  Keith Harring was here!

• Joel : [reading scrolling title sequence]  What is that, what does it say, mittens? An action film called "Mittens"?

  Joel : Joe Don Baker *is* Mittens...

  Crow T. Robot : He's a cop!

• Dr. Forrester : Well, here it comes, Joel: "Mitchell"! It's a super-secret spy... has a motorcycle... marooned in space... meets Hercules... or not... uh, watch it and weep, Joel Prole Mole! Send them the movie, Frank. Frank, the movie?

• Crow T. Robot : Hot merging action!

  Joel : Oh, my goodness, they merged successfully. My heart was in my throat.

• Crow T. Robot : The lunatic is on the grass...

• Crow T. Robot : Johnny Nash breaks into a suburban home.

• Tom Servo : [watching the film's title]  Oh wait, it's "Mitchell"!

  Crow T. Robot : Oh the Martha Mitchell story.

  Tom Servo : Joe Don Baker IS Martha Mitchell.

• Crow T. Robot : Joe Don Baker would be perfect for "Elvis, the Dying Days".

• Tom Servo : [mocking Mitchell theme song]  My, my, my, my apartment.

  Crow T. Robot : I'd knock, but I know I'm not home.

• Mitchell : [having sex with Greta under the covers]  Would ya watch the ribs?

  Crow T. Robot : Oh, he's a reading a comic book under there.

• Hoyt Axton : Oh, my, my, my, Mitchell, what would your mama say?

  Crow T. Robot : She'd say, "He's not mine, you can't prove it!"

• Mitchell : Cummings is crossing Gallano.

  Crow T. Robot : And we're passing the savings onto you!

• Crow T. Robot : I've seen faster funeral processions!