- Cal: This costume gives me great power, the power to instill school spirit and make people cheer. But along with great power comes great responsibility. I'd be letting the school spirit down if I didn't go, and the school spirit is a ghost that will kill me if I disobey. Ghosts are scary, guy.
- Rocko: Let me talk to Cal.
- Nitz: Rocko, you have to stop beating him up.
- Rocko: I have to, do I? Is that a challenge you and your school would be willing to settle on the field of honor with a football game?
- Nitz: Uh, no.
- Rocko: Then put him on the phone.
- Cal: Ahh, hey best buddy Rocko. Yeah I do think one more good one and it'll break. Yeah that does bleed when it gets poked. Ok guy see you soon.
- Gimpy: Come on Mump. You know you're like Wedge to my Luke Skywalker. Trusty, loyal, and you never die.
- Craig the fraternity leader: Rocko, what are you doing?
- Rocko: What does it look like I'm doing? It's Saturday, and Saturday night means college football, and college football mean tailgating, and tailgating means respectable early morning drinking.
- Craig the fraternity leader: Rocko, it's Friday night, we don't have a football team, and why are you wearing a skirt?
- Rocko: Sometimes I like to feel pretty.
- Gimpy: Go back to your cheating husband? Are you crazy? Forty lashes with a wet noodle to you, Ann Landers!