- Lisa gives Ralph a Valentine's card out of pity, but soon regrets it when he develops an unwanted crush on her.
- Feeling sorry for Ralph, Lisa sends him a Valentine card. Having developed a crush on her, Ralph invites Lisa to go see the Krusty the Clown show. She accepts but after Krusty asks them if they are boyfriend and girlfriend, Lisa lets Ralph know that she just wants them to be friends.—wodder-1
- The local radio station plays "monster mash" on Valentine's Day as the town get ready. Marge makes Homer a special breakfast and after seeing Ned's romantic song to Maude, Homer goes to the Kwik-e mart to get Marge a box of chocolates. In Miss Hoovers class, the students craft Valentine's Day cards and boxes to store them, before Skinner announces through the PA about how Valentine's Day is no joke, having a flashback about Da Nang 1969. Back in Hoovers class, everyone gets a card, except Ralph. Lisa sees this and feels sorry for him, so she makes him a card saying, I choo-choo choose you and Ralph is immediately smitten. At lunchtime, Bart plays a prank on his classmates about a heart popping out. After school, Ralph walks with Lisa and continues talking, before Lisa finally gets home. Bart and Homer watch an itchy and scratchy entitled "my bloody valentine", before Krusty announces he has an upcoming 29th anniversary show coming up and Bart really wants to go. Lisa asks her parents how to let Ralph down gently and she tells him that she's just not ready for that kind of relationship. That evening, Ralph asks his father, chief Wiggum how to win a girl and Ralph goes out for persistence. The following day, Ralph comes over to the Simpson house and Homer asks him to go away, but Ralph says he'll do anything for his daughter and Homer gets him to tar the roof. The next day, miss Hoover tells everyone that Lisa will play Martha Washington in the school play and Ralph will play George, much to Rex's outrage. It is then revealed that Wiggum made her make that decision by putting a parking boot on her car. Back at the Simpson household, Lisa receives a package from Ralph, a toy car with Krusty tickets in the trunk. Bart suggests going with him, disguised as her and Lisa asks Homer whether that is alright. At the anniversary show, Lisa gets embarrassed when Ralph is interviewed and says that he will marry her. Lisa goes into a fit of rage and when played back, feels guilty about it. When chief Wiggum realizes that Lisa humiliated Ralph, he targets Homer. After a long evening of showing all the presidents, the show comes to an end with George Washington (Ralph) silent, before throwing the valentines card into the fire. Together, Ralph and Lisa put on an emotional performance. Later on, Lisa tells Ralph that he did great and gives him a card, "let's bee friends". The episode ends with chief Wiggum watching them on the swings, listening to monster mash again.
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