Undergrads (TV Series)

New Friends (2001)

Pete Williams: Parker 'Nitz' Walsh, Justin 'Gimpy' Taylor, Cal Evans, Rocko Gambiani

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Mump has been stricken with carpal tunnel syndrome] 

  Doctor : What the hell were you guys doing?

  Gimpy : Hacking into the Ben and Jerry's mainframe and changing Captain Kirk Crunch to Chocolate Chip Chewbacca.

  Doctor : ...Right.

• Rocko : Sweetass! It looks like I'm jerkin' my gerkin'.

• Gimpy : Don't you realize this is Star Wars vs Star Trek? A band of rebel X-Wing fighters versus... I don't know, some Star Trek crap where they save a bunch of crap lousy whales.

• Gimpy : Now, your joystick...

  Rocko : Hawhaaaahawhawhaa.

  Gimpy : Is there something funny about your joystick, Private Rocko? As I was saying, your joystick must be harnessed as the instruments of digital devastation. You must master your joystick like a fisherman masters bait.

  Rocko : HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

  [Doubles over] 

• Gimpy : [opens a bathroom stall revealing Cal and a joystick]  Private Cal! What is your major malfunction?

  Cal : Heyy guyy. I'm mastering my joystick! slurpp

  [Gimpy backs slowly out of the room] 

• Cal : Sorry guy! I didn't know it was your birthday. Happy birthday, guy!

  Gimpy : Cal, show Nitz Captain Joystick.

  Cal : Ok guy. Meet my joystick. I named him Captain Joystick.

  Gimpy : It's your birthday present which we were gonna give you at your party tomorrow night!

  Cal : Oh no guy, that's *my* joystick! I'm using it tomorrow night and... oh wait, I see what you're doing! Slrp. You're trickin Nitz! I don't think Nitz will go for it, guy.

  Rocko : I don't know, Nitz is kinda dumb sometimes. Maybe he'll fall for it.

  Nitz : I'm logging off now.

• Rocko : Punk-ass! Take that, bastard!

  [fighting noises] 

  Nitz : Are you OK?

  Rocko : Yeah. I just saw Fight Club 22 times so I've started my own group, which I call Brawl Group. Wanna join? You can be member number 2.

  [to himself] 

  Rocko : Number 2. Heh-heh that's not funny, eat this!

  [punches himself] 

  Rocko : You're weak! No *you're* weak! I'm weaker than you, I mean I'm stronger!

• Rocko : Man. What died and crawled up his ass?

  Cal : Maybe he borrowed my gerbil?

• Jessie : So, is this how you hang out with your high school friends? Just sit around and state?

  Nitz : Only on Stare-day.

  Jessie : [chuckles]  Good one. We have signs of life.

• Spud : Choose your weapon on the field of honor!

  Gimpy : Broadswords! Huzzah!

  [Spud and Gimpy are given broadswords, but find them too heavy to duel with] 

  Spud : What say revolvers, hmm?

  [Spud and Gimpy are given revolvers, try to duel with them like swords, and find them too heavy as well] 

  Gimpy : Or, uh, karaoke duel!

  [takes up microphone and starts singing a Thompson Twins song] 

  Gimpy : Oh-oo-oh hold me now!

  [is unable to keep lifting microphone and drops it]