Keeping Up Appearances (TV Series)

Iron Age Remains (1992)

David Janson: Michael the Postman

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Hyacinth : [opening the door just as the postman is about to slip a letter through]  Aaaaah! What have you got?

  The Postman : Heart failure.

  [hands her the letter] 

  Hyacinth : Well, this can't be it. This is a bill; this isn't it. It *should* be on stiff white card from the Lord Chamberlain's Office.

  The Postman : What should?

  Hyacinth : Our invitation. To the Royal Garden Party. My husband has recently retired after a lifetime of devoted service to the community. Now, that means an invitation to the Royal Garden Party; bound to.

  The Postman : Oh, bound to.

  Hyacinth : Mr. Hislop at number 43 went to the Royal Garden Party last year, and he only drives a C registration.

  [the postman starts off] 

  Hyacinth : Are you sure there's nothing else in your bag?

  The Postman : Not for this address, Mrs. Bu... Bouquet.

  Hyacinth : Well, that's very strange. It must be lying about somewhere, lost in the depths of your sorting office.

  The Postman : Your husband retired, has he?

  Hyacinth : Mm-hmm.

  The Postman : Wow! If anybody deserves a garden party!

  Hyacinth : Exactly.