- Chester A. Riley: Their gonna slit my throat from ear to ear and rip out my tonsils, and she says there's nothing to it!
- Jim Gillis: I know a lot about surgery. Why there ain't a day that goes by that I read the obituary columns!
- Jim Gillis: They put you to sleep. And they open your mouth. And they take a very sharp instrument. Down your throat it goes. Very slowly... Slap, slap, slap... Rip, Rip, Rip... it's over!