My Family (TV Series)

Bliss for Idiots (2006)

Zoë Wanamaker: Susan Harper

Quotes 

• Ben Harper : What is this masterpiece?

  Susan Harper : [Shows her self-help book]  'Shut Up and Be Happy'.

  Ben Harper : Too late - I'm married!

• Ben Harper : You know who reads this self-help crap, don't you? Gullible, middle-aged housewives whose children have flown the nest with nothing better to do than sit around...

  Susan Harper : [Gives Ben a stern look] 

  Ben Harper : ...have you done something with your hair? It looks really lovely!

• Susan Harper : For your information, Dr Buck has changed my life.

  Ben Harper : I thought I changed your life.

  Susan Harper : He changed it for the better.

• Susan Harper : Michael, you don't sound excited about going to the museum. I thought you loved the place.

  Michael Harper : I'm sick of that place. Velociraptors and stegosauruses, with crustaceous coelacanths? Pfft! It's like some lame paleontological joke!

  Ben Harper : Pfft! Yeah! The only word I heard there was 'joke'.

• Ben Harper : Dunster Park Country Club have turned me down!

  Susan Harper : Oh, I'm sorry, darling. How was the interview?

  Ben Harper : It was fine. I was just trying to be myself.

  Susan Harper : I warned you against that.

• Dr. Buck Bukowski : Susan, all I've ever wanted to do is to help regular folks like you navigate life's fault lines. Like I say in the book: "Why be down and wear a frown..."

  Susan Harper : "... when all the while you can wear a smile?"

  Ben Harper : Oh, God! If only Gandhi had thought of that!

• Susan Harper : I'm going to check on the roast.

  Ben Harper : Why don't you leave it to the smoke detector? You usually do!

• Ben Harper : I can't believe you gave up our bed to that charlatan!

  Susan Harper : [Meditating]  You know where I am, Ben?

  Ben Harper : In denial!

  Susan Harper : I'm on a tropical island. My toes are curled in the warm sands of the Caribbean. A steel band is playing. And a handsome young waiter called Sven is bringing me a gin sling.

  Ben Harper : Hmm. From the sound of it, it's not your first.

  Susan Harper : Join me, Ben. There's an empty sun lounger.

  Ben Harper : No, I can't, darling. I've got to swim out and save Dr Buck, who at this moment is being savaged by a great white shark!

  Susan Harper : No, look! Dr Buck has tamed the great white shark with the power of his positive thinking! The shark says "Thank you" and carries him to the shore!

  Ben Harper : Oh, but... No, look... on the beach are six real doctors waiting for Dr Buck and they've got a straitjacket! Oh, no, they're putting it on Dr Buck! What's he going to do now?