- SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey Squidward. Hey Squidward. Hey Squidward. Hey Squidward.
- Squidward: Okay, I'll bite. What is it.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Do you know what day it is?
- Squidward: Annoy Squidward Day?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: No, silly. That's on the fifteenth.
- Squidward: Okay. Let's have a good, clean fight.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: And may the better man win!
- [They shake hands. We see closeups of their worn, sleepless faces]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [in his thoughts] He's nothin' but a lyin', boneless, ink-squirtin', big-nosed phony!
- Squidward: [in his thoughts] Look at that buck-toothed, corn-fed smile! You can't trust him as far as you can throw him!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [in his thoughts] As soon as he stops shaking my hand...
- Squidward: [in his thoughts] ... I'm gonna make a run for it!
- [Their hand shaking has gotten stiff and mechanical. The two of them laugh nervously, and then make a run for it]