Plot

Dr. Cox is named the best doctor in the area in a leading publication. He lines up the hospital staff and requires them to acknowledge this. Dr. Cox subsequently struggles to treat an unnervingly rude and haughty patient who is a friend of Dr. Kelso's. Because of Kelso's personal connection, he declares himself unsuitable to treat her. After struggling to conceive, Carla, who has already taken a fertility test, questions Turk's fertility. He is unwilling to have himself tested, so she tries to "spermjack" him to find out. Eventually, he capitulates and learns that he is not shooting blanks. Elliot finds out J.D. doesn't like her new boyfriend, intern Keith. The other interns start complaining that Keith is being treated preferentially because he is sleeping with her. J.D. is initially unwilling to support Elliot, but finally changes his tune. To keep in touch, Zach and Turk have outfitted each other with radio watches. J.D. gets disgusted with his at one point and ditches it in the trash. The janitor hears it when he tosses the trash can in which it was disposed. For a short time, he uses it to carry out some practical jokes on J.D. But J.D. figures this out and manages to reverse the jokes by sending the janitor into the freezer and locking him in.—Garon Smith

Elliot gets upset with J.D. when he doesn't defend her after she's accused by the other interns of giving preferential treatment to Keith. Meanwhile, Dr. Cox is stuck caring for one of Dr. Kelso's old, miserable, and demanding friends, and Carla resorts to trickery to find out if Turk is sterile.—Alex