Plot

Marie writes a letter to include with her Christmas cards--one that praises her and insults Debra. They decide to write a letter together: Raymond is heavily praised and Robert is not. Robert wants to include his own information.

Driven insane with jealousy when she receives a Christmas letter from a relative that details how wonderful her life is and how well her kids are doing, Marie enlists Debra's help in writing a Barone "family update," but despite efforts to make everyone sound successful, the letter makes them all feel inadequate about what they have done--or not done.

Marie writes a Christmas letter that shows Debra in a bad light, where she has commented on Debra's cooking (Marie says that Debra's cooking is still a work in progress and that someday she may allow her to cook in her kitchen) and the fact that she is not able to handle the kids (Marie says that Debra is outnumbered by the kids 3:1, so she has to help out and now it is even. This implies that Marie is worth 2 of Debra). The letter makes it look like Marie is the one cooking and cleaning Debra's house and raising her kids, while Debra sits around drooling inside a cup. Debra blows her top and demands that Marie not send it. Marie says she has to send it because of the letter she received from her sister Theresa. Theresa claimed that her choir sang at the white house, and her roses were featured in good housekeeping. Marie says that she wants people to read her letter and believe that she is doing well too.

Debra reads Theresa's letter and agrees that Theresa needs a smack-down. Theresa has shown Marie in a bad light and has suggested that Debra and Marie don't get along. Debra realizes that Theresa is an unpleasant woman, and suggests they write a new one together. Derba proposes to write a letter that makes them both look good and asks Marie to come up with some dirt on Theresa. Marie says that Theresa has a skin condition. Debra writes about Marie's trips to the botanical gardens and says that Marie more about the gardens than the guides. Debra also describes Marie's work as a piano teacher.

When Ray, Robert and Frank read the letter they come up with, they have their own objections. Robert says he always gets less lines than Ray and has written his own bio for the letter, praising his accomplishments for the year. Robert complains that Marie wrote her last Christmas letter 10 years ago and Robert was not happy with the way he was portrayed, so he vowed to never let that happen again. In his bio, Robert has talked about his dancing skills, the fact that he is playing the field, and so on.

Ray is not happy that he has been mentioned as "still writing his sports column for Newsday". As if he should be doing something better. Ray admits that he tried and failed twice to get promoted to the editing manager position at his newspaper.

For Frank Debra and Marie listed down his favorite TV channels and comment that his love affair with bacon continues. Frank feels he has wasted 10 years of his life as he didn't do anything that he said he would do in the last Christmas letter that Marie wrote 10 years ago. Things like fixing up a 1957 Chevy and driving it across the country or see Frank Sinatra in concert.

In the end, each of them tears away the pieces of the letter which talk about them and walk away, as Frank, Ray and Robert don't want any part of Marie's Christmas newsletter to the family.