- [at Bobby's birthday party]
- Peggy Hill: Good grief, Cotton, you gave him a loaded shotgun?
- Cotton Hill: Well, you don't give a toy without batteries.
- [telling the story of how he lost his shins]
- Cotton Hill: I was 14, just a little older than Bobby. But I knew Uncle Sam needed me, so I lied and signed up. We had beat the Nazzys in Italy, and they shipped me to the Pacific theater. A Tojo torpedo sent our troop ship to the bottom. I could only save three of my buddies: Fatty, Stinky, and Brooklyn. They were kind of like you fellas
- [to Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer]
- Cotton Hill: , only one of them was from Brooklyn. Out of the sun came a Tojo Zero and put fitty bullets in my back. The blood attracted sharks. I had to give 'em Fatty. Then things took a turn for the worse. I made it to an island, but it was full of Tojos! They were spitting on the U.S. flag! So I rushed 'em, but it was a trap. They opened fire and blew my shins off. Last thing I remember, I beat 'em all to death with a big piece of Fatty. I woke up in a field hospital, and they were sewing my feet to my knees.
- Bill Dauterive: [at Bobby's Birthday party] Well I'm having fun.
- Stuart Dooley: Your wife divorced you!
- [Bill looks sad]
- Cotton Hill: [waving money in front of Kahn's face] Mr. Kahn I'll have a Ma Tai.
- Kahn Souphanousinphone Sr.: What? What'd you think I work for Hank?
- Hank Hill: Uh, Dad this here is my new neighbor.
- Dale Gribble: [to Cotton] He's Japanese.
- Cotton Hill: No he ain't!
- [looks him over]
- Cotton Hill: he's Laotian, ain't you Mr. Kahn?
- [Kahn reacts in shock that he knew his ethnicity]
- Hank: Grandpa Cotton Hill, Hell, USA? Bobby, why did you write this? You know your grandpa lives in Houston.
- Bobby Hill: Mom says he's the devil.
- Hank: Peggy, how can you tell Bobby that?
- Peggy Hill: I said evil, Hank. How you get devil from that is beyond me.