- Captain McIntyre: [rushing into the OR, shortly after Henry's departure... Trapper sees him unmasked] Radar, put a mask on!
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: If it's about my discharge, give it to me straight! I can take it!
- Radar: I have a message.
- [voice breaking]
- Radar: Lt. Col. Henry Blake's plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan... it spun in. There were no survivors.
- [Margaret begins to cry softly... the surgeons continue their work in absolute silence]
- Henry Blake: [Klinger is standing at attention in a tacky Carmen Miranda outfit] Klinger, that outfit might just get you that Section 8.
- Cprl. Maxwell Klinger: I made it just for this occasion, sir. I was in such a hurry, I didn't get the back zipped.
- Henry Blake: I'll do it.
- [Klinger spins around]
- Cprl. Maxwell Klinger: Up, sir.
- [Blake zips it; Klinger spins back around and snaps to attention]
- Henry Blake: There you go, soldier.
- Cprl. Maxwell Klinger: Sir, I have a picture of me. Would you carry it in your wallet?
- Henry Blake: Your pink evening gown.
- Cprl. Maxwell Klinger: I knew it was your favorite, sir.
- Henry Blake: [Henry's final line, as he says good-bye to Radar] You behave yourself, or I'm gonna come back here and kick your butt!
- Radar: Colonel, do you know what I found in the morning's mail?
- Henry Blake: Now, that's a toughie. Hum a few bars, won't you, Radar?
- Maj. Frank Marion 'Ferret Face' Burns: [as the company assembles to see Henry off] Does the Colonel wish to review his troops?
- Henry Blake: No, I just want to say goodbye.
- Henry Blake: Why can't everybody be on the same time?
- Radar: Because the Earth is round and it keeps rotating all the time.
- Henry Blake: Oh. I thought it was just an army thing.
- Maj. Frank Marion 'Ferret Face' Burns: I just wish I'd taken R.O.T.C. in school. I wasted so much time in the stamp club.
- Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan: I thought you were president.
- Maj. Frank Marion 'Ferret Face' Burns: Well, that wasn't leadership. They needed someone to lick the stamps and I had the biggest tongue.
- Henry Blake: Now, that's delicious! What is that?
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin Hawkeye Pierce: Sea snails.
- Henry Blake: Sea snails.
- Captain McIntyre: By the snee-shore.
- Henry Blake: You sure you don't want a drink, Radar?
- Radar: No sir, it makes my eyes turn red and I fall down.
- Henry Blake: It's kind of nice to lie down with red eyes.
- Radar: Um, you know, my own father didn't have me until he was 63. And, uh, first time we played peek-a-boo together, he had a stroke.