The Red Green Show (TV Series)
Car Pool (1993)
Steve Smith: Red Green
Quotes
-
Harold Green : [Introducing the show] Here he is, the small medium, Mr. Lodge, Red Green!
Red Green : [Entering and waving] Thank you very much and thanks for tuning us in.
[to Harold]
Red Green : Small medium? What was that all about?
Harold Green : Well, you know. Don't you get it? Small, medium, lodge. You know, it's like a dwarf psychic at a resort. Or it could be clothing size: small, medium, lodge.
Red Green : Yeah, you know, I wish I had an extra lodge. I'd send you into it.
-
Red Green : The gas siphon - you'd probably use this at the mall while your wife is inside shopping.
-
Harold Green : How much did you pay for the Possum Van?
Red Green : Nothing, Harold. That was a gift from my parents for graduating from public school. That way, I wouldn't have to borrow my dad's car to drive to junior high.
-
Red Green : [singing] Hoein' every hayfield and puttin' them in bales/Pickin' all the peapods and puttin' them in pails/It's time to reap the harvest; we're goin' as fast as we can/Tryin' to get the crops in before the farmer that owns this place comes out and starts shootin' at us.
Harold Green : [singing] Again.
-
[Red is talking about the result of his car pool test, which involves numerous cars duct-taped together]
Harold Green : I heard you got four traffic tickets!
Red Green : Well, you're dead wrong, Harold, it was five. And it would've been six, but luckily, Moose was licensed for an 18-wheeler?
Harold Green : Eighteen? How do you get 18 from five vehicles?
Red Green : Well, Junior had his motorcycle in there, so it was four fours and a two.
-
Harold Green : [Red got five traffic tickets during his car pool test] So explain to me: you got nailed for crossing a median in both shoulders. You got failing to stop at two stop signs - at the same time. And there was driving a train without a track, and, uh... what were the other two?
Red Green : Having a parade without a permit, and passing on a hill.