- Zorro: [Garcia sneaks up on Zorro. Annoyed, Zorro aims a gun at Garcia's stomach] "I am not sure what impression this little bullet will make of that huge stomach of yours, Sargeant... but I'm willing to find out!
- Don Alejandro de la Vega: He is made of good stuff, but he has never had to face responsibilities. It might help him too, Diego, if you could set him an example. And take a greater part in the affairs of the pueblo, and serve the community.
- Don Diego de la Vega: A famous poet, Father, once said that they also serve who only stand and wait.
- Don Alejandro de la Vega: I sent my only son away to military school, expecting they would send me back a fighter. I got a poet!
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: And Clara, later when you finish work, then will you sit with me for a while?
- Barmaid: I will not sit with you now! I will not sit with you when I am finished ! Not tomorrow or the day after! For the last time, I will not sit with you at all!
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: I will finish what I was saying later.
- Barmaid: You have finished before you have started!
- Don Diego de la Vega: Well, you're making progress, Sargeant. I remember when she would not even speak with you!
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: You know, Don Diego, I am still a young man. It is the time of life I should get married and settle down, but no woman will take me seriously. It's not fair, Don Diego. Ah, maybe I am a little overweight, but you know what they say: a fat man always has a sense of humor.
- Cpl. Reyes: With a stomach like yours, you need a sense of humor.
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: You are addressing your Comandante!
- Cpl. Reyes: All right, Sargeant.
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Sargeant! Don Diego, it's no use. To my own men, I am just a little Sargeant.
- Cpl. Reyes: Big fat Sargeant.
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: [the barmaid revives Garcia with a drink of water] Water! Would you drown me, woman?
- Don Diego de la Vega: Well, I do not think that you would refuse me sergent!
- Garcia: No, Don Diego! Someone recently warned me to stay away from wine! But, Brandy is not wine, is it?
- Carlos Urista: You can use the money, but what can an outlaw do with the Rancho Santio? Perhaps you and I can make a deal.
- Zorro: I would be glad to make a deal with you, señor. If in two hours you are within 5 miles of the Pueblo de Los Angeles, I'll kill you!
- Don Diego de la Vega: Well sergeant, perhaps the mistake in your thinking is, you only think of yourself as a sergeant! You must think of yourself as the commandante. A man is what he thinks!
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: That is philosophy, Don Diego? I am what I think. I think I am the commandante!
- [singing]
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: I'm commandante of the pueblo. I am, because I think so. Every inch a handsome soldier, trim of hip and broad of shoulder.
- Cpl. Reyes: How do you know?
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Because I think so!
- Cpl. Reyes: Ho ho, because he thinks so.
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: I am the man who'll capture Zorro. I am, because I think so. Though the Fox is very wily, I'll pursue him oh so slyly.
- Barmaid: How do you know?
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Because I think so!
- Barmaid: Ho ho, because he thinks so.
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Now in battle I have won so many battles that my chest can't hold another single one I fear.
- Barmaid: The only kind of medal that you'll ever get will be for terrific feat in running to the rear!
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: I am the man the ladies love so. I am, because I think so. Senoritas can't resist me, they're my slaves once they have kissed me.
- Don Diego de la Vega: Now is that so, because he thinks so?
- Barmaid: No no, not 'till he shrinks so!
- [mimes García slimming down]
- Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: No no, I cannot shrink so!