- James Hacker: That is the last interview I give for a school magazine; she asked some very difficult questions.
- Annie Hacker: Not difficult, just innocent. She was assuming there was some moral basis to your activities.
- James Hacker: Well, there is.
- Annie Hacker: Oh Jim, don't be silly.
- Sir Humphrey Appleby: Minister, it takes time to do things 'now'.
- James Hacker: The three articles of civil service faith: it takes longer to do things quickly; it's more expensive to do them cheaply; it's more democratic to do them in secret.
- [about Hacker's plan to promote more women in the civil service]
- Sir Humphrey Appleby: Minister. I have come to the conclusion that you were right.
- James Hacker: Are you being serious, Humphrey?
- Sir Humphrey Appleby: Yes indeed, Minister. I am fully-seized of your ideas and have taken them on board and I am now positively against discrimination against women and positively in favour of positive discrimination in their favour - discriminating discrimination of course.
- Bernard Woolley: Remember that letter you wrote "round objects" on? Sir Humphrey has commented on it.
- James Hacker: What's he say?
- Bernard Woolley: "Who is Round and to what does he object?"
- James Hacker: Sarah tells me this complaint is nonsense.
- Bernard Woolley: Oh, fine. So we can CGSM it.
- James Hacker: CGSM?
- Bernard Woolley: Civil service code. It stands for Consignment of Geriatric Shoe Manufacturers. Load of old cobblers, Minister.
- James Hacker: I'm not a civil servant. I shall use my own code. I shall write "round objects".