Wonderfalls (TV Series)
Pink Flamingos (2004)
Caroline Dhavernas: Jaye Tyler
Quotes
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Mahandra McGinty : Have you been huffing paint? Because this isn't like you.
Jaye Tyler : What do you mean, "like me"? There is no "like me." I'm not "like" anything, and if I were it certainly wouldn't be me.
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Mahandra McGinty : I don't know what you've become.
Jaye Tyler : Fist of fate, thy name is Janet. Remember that?
Mahandra McGinty : Janet was just venting. You've been channeling Tonya Harding. So, you ever plan on coming out of here?
Jaye Tyler : I haven't decided yet.
Mahandra McGinty : Mm. Well, word is you're about to be voted most spiteful.
Jaye Tyler : They can't add a category!
[seeing Mahandra's look]
Jaye Tyler : Great. And you're mad at me, too.
Mahandra McGinty : You made me feel sorry for Gretchen Speck. And I'm not sure I can forgive you for that.
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Gretchen Speck-Horowitz : Any of you holding Speck-Horowitz couples cards, toss 'em. They no longer apply. I'm losin' the hyphen and keepin' the ring.
Mahandra McGinty : What a bitch. Is it wrong that I like her now?
Jaye Tyler : I think she just walked out of here a free woman.
Mahandra McGinty : Feel kinda sorry for her husband, though.
Jaye Tyler : [remembering he was in a car crash] Let's just hope he's dead.
-
Darrin Tyler : So, I hear you went to your reunion.
Jaye Tyler : You talked to Mom?
Darrin Tyler : Yeah, well, we sleep together.
[Jaye opens the car door for him]
Darrin Tyler : Thank you. Listen, I'm, uh... I'm sorry if you felt pressured to go because of me.
Jaye Tyler : Oh, please. I forgive you.
Darrin Tyler : So, you had no fun at all?
Jaye Tyler : I think it's fair to say you had more fun when I ran you over. But I'm glad I went.
Darrin Tyler : Well, I'm glad you ran me over.
Jaye Tyler : Ha ha.
Darrin Tyler : No, I'm serious. You're my good luck charm. You know those pointless, routine tests that they held me for? They found a blood clot in my leg, deep in a vein. It could have killed me. Thanks to you, they found it in time.
Jaye Tyler : But you're gonna be okay?
Darrin Tyler : I'm great. I'm going to breakfast with my daughter.
[Jaye starts the engine]
Darrin Tyler : Use your mirrors. Say, did you know our basic cable comes with lesbian porn?
-
Jaye Tyler : I guess you're pretty mad at me, huh?
Karen Tyler : Oh, don't be ridiculous.
Jaye Tyler : I ruined your moment. I'm sorry.
Karen Tyler : This night is not about me, dear. And I think I understand why you did what you did.
Jaye Tyler : You do?
Karen Tyler : It's my fault. I somehow gave you the impression that I wanted a daughter like Gretchen Speck.
Jaye Tyler : [a little dumbfounded] Uh...
Karen Tyler : Confident, motivated, blonde.
Jaye Tyler : You just described Sharon.
Karen Tyler : Well-married.
Jaye Tyler : Okay, so not Sharon.
Karen Tyler : But that girl's miserable.
Jaye Tyler : Sharon?
Karen Tyler : Gretchen. Oh, she's trapped in her perfect life, and that's not something that I want for you.
Jaye Tyler : Well, I wouldn't worry about that.
Karen Tyler : But I do worry. But that's just me being a mother. And as your mother, I don't care what those people think of you now, because in my heart, you will always be head cheerleader.
Jaye Tyler : Oh. You're looking for the back door, aren't you?
Karen Tyler : Is there one?
Jaye Tyler : Right over there.
-
Darrin Tyler : [moving trash toters from the driveway] Can't believe they'd leave a mess like this.
Muse : [to Jaye through a flamingo yard decoration] Get off your ass.
Jaye Tyler : He's fine! You're fine, right?
Darrin Tyler : Just a couple more. I'll manage.
Jaye Tyler : See? He's managing.
Muse : Just get off your ass.
Jaye Tyler : I'm not listening.
[she rolls the car window up, then sees more flamingo decorations outside the driver's side door]
Jaye Tyler : The service industry is a noble profession. I don't want you comparing yourself unfairly to the achievements of your siblings.
Jaye Tyler : [closing the door] Go away.
[she accidentally bumps the gear shift, and the car starts rolling backward]
Darrin Tyler : There are many ways to measure success, and you are not the... sweetheart, the car is rolling! The car is... ooh, ooh! Oh, God! Oww!
-
Darrin Tyler : You know, I have to say, your sister really enjoyed her reunion.
Jaye Tyler : Yeah, Sharon also enjoyed 4-H.
[seeing a flamingo yard decoration move, she groans]
Darrin Tyler : Hate to see you miss out. That's all.
Jaye Tyler : Yeah. I'll just wear my smock from the store. It already has my name stitched into the vest. I won't even have to wear a sticker.
Darrin Tyler : Don't denigrate what you do.
Jaye Tyler : I sell plastic canoes and refrigerator magnets.
-
Darrin Tyler : These came for you. "Can't wait. Save the date. Rooster class of '98."
Jaye Tyler : Oh, God. More?
Darrin Tyler : Maybe it's time you put in that change of address with the post office.
Jaye Tyler : If I do that, these people will know where I live.
Darrin Tyler : Lots of people live in trailer parks. There's no shame to it.
Jaye Tyler : Who said I was ashamed?
Darrin Tyler : Good! Then there's no reason for you to skip your ten-year reunion.
Jaye Tyler : Right, because it's only been six and a half years. I don't miss these people yet, and I don't think that's a problem time can solve.
Darrin Tyler : [looking out his car's rearview mirror] Those sons of biscuits.
Jaye Tyler : I know, huh?
[looking out the back window, they see the trash toters blocking the driveway]
Jaye Tyler : Oh.
-
Jaye Tyler : [accidentally putting her father in the hospital] How many fractures before it's multiple?
Darrin Tyler : Two.
Jaye Tyler : How many do you have?
Darrin Tyler : Seven.
Sharon Tyler : And people say you're an underachiever.
Karen Tyler : This isn't a criticism. I'm just curious. How do you run someone down from the passenger seat?
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Sharon Tyler : [Jaye accidentally hit their dad with the car] Maybe she did it on purpose. Could be an attempt at getting an early inheritance.
Karen Tyler : Your sister's not a cold-blooded murderer. She's never been a planner.
Jaye Tyler : It was an accident!
Karen Tyler : Of course it was, dear.
Sharon Tyler : Technically, it was contributory negligence.
Jaye Tyler : I feel really bad. Can we just pretend this didn't happen?
Karen Tyler : That's what the morphine's for.
-
Darrin Tyler : [finding their trash toters blocking the driveway] You have any idea how much those sanitation jokers make in a year?
Jaye Tyler : A lot?
Darrin Tyler : [going to move them] Enough to have a little pride in a job well done. This is just sloppy! There's no pride here.
Jaye Tyler : It *is* garbage.
