- [Kevin has just asked his father to summarize his life]
- Jack Arnold: I get up at 5am, I fight traffic, I bust my hump all day, I fight traffic again, and come home...
- [smiles]
- Jack Arnold: And I pay my taxes.
- Wayne Arnold: [while Kevin is attempting to write a school project called 'My Obituary'] What's that?
- Kevin Arnold: Oh, nothing.
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: Which was true. I'd been staring at that page for an hour and a half, without coming up with a single word. Some kind of writers block, I guess.
- Wayne Arnold: [looks at the project title in Kevin's book] An obituary? Oh, let me see. Maybe I can help.
- Kevin Arnold: Wayne...
- Wayne Arnold: Let's see. Kevin Arnold... born a butthead. Lived... a butthead's life. Died... a butthead. Did you get any of that down?
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: It wasn't that dad didn't have faith in Uncle Sam. He believed in taxes.
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: When you're 13 years old, the last thing you want to have to worry about is your life. That's what you have parents for.
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: Some things are bigger than death and taxes. Like family... Like faith.