Wings (TV Series)

Ready, Teddy, Go (1994)

Tim Daly: Joe Montgomery Hackett

Quotes 

• Helen Chapel : [Helen finds see-through lingerie in Davis's luggage]  Oh God, I hope this is not for me.

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : Maybe he bought it for another woman, the bastard.

  Brian Michael Hackett : Maybe it's for him, the bitch.

• Davis Lynch : Look Joe, I know I'm not exactly your favorite person.

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : I never said that.

  Davis Lynch : Boy, I would have! I didn't invest in your business, I'm dating your old girlfriend, I'd hate my guts.

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : Well maybe we do have something in common.

• Helen Chapel : [Helen is going through Davis's luggage]  He brought me a present!

  Alex Lambert : Helen, you shouldn't open that.

  Helen Chapel : Yes, I'm gonna open it. That way I know how to reciprocate. You know, cover my butt.

  [Helen opens the package and finds see-through lingerie] 

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : Well that's certainly not gonna do it.

• Helen Chapel : When you're dating someone, there is a specific order to gift-giving. First date: flowers, right? Second date: stuffed animal,

  [Helen holds her hands close together] 

  Helen Chapel : no bigger than this. Fourth date, a little more personal: key chain, perhaps. Sixth date, all right we're getting to know each other. Now you can get a little more intimate: gloves.

  Alex Lambert : She's not serious.

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : Oh yes, she is. When we were dating, I screwed up someplace around key chain. I had to go all the way back to flowers.

• Brian Michael Hackett : [looking at the minibar in a hotel room]  Aw baby, I love this: $17.50 for macadamia nuts.

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : You know, that's obscene. What kind of sucker would pay that kind of money for junk food?

  Davis Lynch : [from the shower]  Help yourself to anything you want out there!

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : Yo Brian, toss me those nuts.

• Joe Montgomery Hackett : [Joe approaches Faye carrying a rat in a cage]  Faye, what is this?

  Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran : Oh, that's my rat. I kidnapped her from the psychology lab.

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : [pondering]  ... Oookay. Get away clean now, or... ah, what the hell. Go ahead.

  Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran : My instructor promised that she would only be used for a few harmless experiments. But he lied.

  Lowell Mather : Eh, they always lie. First they suck you in with the free milk and cookies. Next thing you know, you're running naked through a maze.