- Cefalu: [Artie, disguised as a chef, is finishing decorating a cake] A dog would not eat that!
- Artemus Gordon: Of course not; it wasn't meant for you.
- James T. West: Bombs are like women, gentlemen: you should never let them know you don't trust them.
- [in a brawl, Jim smashes the judge's face into a large cake]
- Artemus Gordon: Did you have to ruin my cake?
- Jim West: It was either your cake or my reputation.