- Colin Mochrie: [in "Weird Newscasters"] Our top story today: Noted archaelogist Fred Flinsteen made an amazing discovery today in Sweden. On a wind-swept fjord, he came across some primitive musical instruments, plus some minuscule deposits of fossilized stool. When asked what the stool could be, Flinsteen replied, "A dab o' ABBA doo."
- Colin Mochrie: Now let's see what's happening in the rest of the world with my co-anchor, Snagglepuss!
- [who is being played by Chip]
- Charles Esten: Heavens to Murgatroyd, thanks! Thank you! That's quite a story, it was too ABBA, even! It's cold in here, freezing! Exit, stage left!
- [then proceeds to run off and leave his stool wiggling]
- Colin Mochrie: ...we are equal opportunity employees.