- Drew Carey: [before "Superheroes"] What I need from the audience is a name of an unlikely superhero.
- [two audience members yell, "Captain Flatulence!"]
- Drew Carey: Did it already.
- Drew Carey: [before "Wedding", referencing losing his footing on the steps] Man, two hundred crew guys just yelled, "My mortgage!" Man.
- Greg Proops: We were just watching our career pass before our eyes up here.
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Wedding", regarding the audience member] She's always been stressed out. You know, when she was born, she came out and slapped the doctor.
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Greatest Hits"] What word comes before "so good"?
- Colin Mochrie: [confused] Pretty... good?
- Ryan Stiles: No, safari. "Safari, so good." See what I'm saying?
- [audience groans]
- Colin Mochrie: Why, Ryan! That's almost like humor!
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Greatest Hits", after the first song] That musical won fifteen Tonys and a Jeff!
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Greatest Hits"] Hey, Col.
- Colin Mochrie: Yeah, Ry?
- Ryan Stiles: Whaddya like on your burritos or your taco chips?
- Colin Mochrie: Why... a little bit of paper.
- [Drew laughs]
- Ryan Stiles: Say the paper you're eating is kind of bland. What would you put on the paper to make it more exciting?
- Colin Mochrie: Salt!
- Ryan Stiles: ...sa. Salsa!