Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series)

Show No. 329 (2001)

Ryan Stiles: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Colin Mochrie : [in "Narrate", set at a circus]  Excuse me, seen any tall freaks? Look, someone tried to kill me a couple days ago, I think it was you.

  Ryan Stiles : It wasn't me, why you blaming me?

  [to camera] 

  Ryan Stiles : I KNEW he was gonna blame me for everything. Probably even that elephant dung he was standing in right at the moment.

  [audience laughs] 

  Ryan Stiles : If I could do 'em that big, I'd be a proud man.

  [to Colin] 

  Ryan Stiles : Look, why can't we let bygones be bygones?

  Colin Mochrie : "Bygones be bygones"? You tried to kill me, and now I'm going to return the favor.

  [to camera] 

  Colin Mochrie : It was then I realized, I had nothing to kill him with. But then the dung gave me an idea... but then I got rid of that idea and came up with a better one.

• Ryan Stiles : [in "Greatest Hits"]  Hey Col, what do you usually do when you hear this sound:

  [buzzes like a bee] 

  Colin Mochrie : I go like this, "OH NO, I'M ALLERGIC!"

  [audience laughs] 

  Colin Mochrie : A very good impression.

  Ryan Stiles : Okay, I have to sell the CD now.

  [to camera] 

  Ryan Stiles : You know, we've got songs of the beekeeper, and what a lonely profession it is, really.

  [Colin stares at Ryan] 

  Ryan Stiles : ... Songs of the beekeeper. We have 4,000 songs... on 4,000 CDs. They're very, very long songs, but we've condensed them for the purposes of selling this CD set.

  Colin Mochrie : I didn't know any of that. You know...

  [Ryan buzzes again; Colin jumps] 

• Colin Mochrie : [in "Greatest Hits"]  As you know, I like to live life on the edge.

  Ryan Stiles : Oh, I know you do.

  Colin Mochrie : My house is on the edge of a cliff, and I drive a car from Argentina.

  [pause] 

  Colin Mochrie : Lost my train of thought there. But I've always been a

  [slurring word] 

  Colin Mochrie : fan of the alternative music.

  Ryan Stiles : Have you?

  Colin Mochrie : Yes, the...

  Ryan Stiles : A "flan"?

  Colin Mochrie : A flan, a nice, because it's nice to eat while you're listening to music.

• Colin Mochrie : [in "Greatest Hits"]  Anyway, one of my favorite alternative bands is Green Day.

  Ryan Stiles : Oh!

  Colin Mochrie : They're from your home town, aren't they?

  Ryan Stiles : I don't know. Where am I from?