- Toby Ziegler: You're a good father, you don't have to act like it. You're the President, you don't have to act like it. You're a good man, you don't have to act like it. You're not just folks, you're not plain-spoken. Do not - do not - do not act like it!
- President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: I don't want to be killed.
- Toby Ziegler: Then make this election about smart, and not. Make it about engaged, and not. Qualified, and not. Make it about a heavyweight. You're a heavyweight. And you've been holding me up for too many rounds.
- Sam Seaborn: I don't know how you do it.
- President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: You have a lot of help. You listen to everybody and then you call the play.
- [beat]
- President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: Sam, you're going to run for President one day. Don't be scared. You can do it. I believe in you.
- [moves chess piece]
- President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: That's checkmate.
- Reporter Steve: Will the President be monitoring the situation throughout the night?
- C.J. Cregg: The President will be monitoring the situation in the China Sea as well as Hartsfield's Landing. Any of the new people not know about Hartfield's Landing? Hartsfield's Landing is a town in New Hampshire. Population 63. While the rest of New Hampshire goes to the polls at 8 AM tomorrow, all of the 42 registered voters of Hartsfield vote at one minute past midnight, or a little over two hours from now. Hartsfield has accurately predicted the winner in every presidential election since William Howard Taft, who, by the way, was founder of the seventh-inning stretch wherein we sing, "Take Me Out To The Ballgame," music and lyrics by Jack Norworth and Albert von Tilzer. It's all part of the service here at Claudia's House of Useless Knowledge. That's a full lid. Thank you very much.
- [CJ and Charlie are discussing a copy of the President's private schedule - which she has hidden in retaliation for him making her sign a copy out earlier - before walking into the office outside the Oval Office]
- Charlie Young: Look C.J...
- C.J. Cregg: You'll find it in your filing cabinet under A for "anal".
- Larry: I don't really wanna know what he's going to find in his filing cabinet, do you?
- Ed: No.
- C.J. Cregg: So, how long do you usually make people your bitch?
- Charlie Young: Depends.
- C.J. Cregg: Okay.
- Carol Fitzpatrick: Albert von Tilzer?
- C.J. Cregg: Ironically, neither of them had ever been to a major league baseball game when they wrote that song. The other song that were famous for was...?
- Carol Fitzpatrick: I didn't even know they were famous for that one.
- C.J. Cregg: "Shine On, Harvest Moon."