- [first lines]
- Tom: Come along, feces. Come along, little birdies.
- [Diana swipes at them with her cane]
- Tom: Diana, stop that. One of these days you'll actually hit one of my sparrows, and then how will you feel?
- Diana: Accurate.
- Tom: Oh, you're unspeakable!
- Diana: Well, I'm so bored. Oh, Jesus. How about you, Jane? Are you bored out of your wet little mind?
- Jane: [distractedly] About half past 10.
- Diana: I see Basil the Bonker wasn't at breakfast again today.
- Jane: Oh, yes?
- Diana: Probably blown a fuse and caught fire.
- Jane: Probably.
- Diana: Mind you, I did see him and Nelly Piggott dancing naked with a headless goat last night.
- Jane: That's nice.
- Diana: Jane!
- Jane: [Jane finally turns around] Yes, Diana?
- [last lines]
- Geoffrey: Hello, Diana. Everything all right?
- Diana: Well, it depends on how you look at life, Geoffrey.
- Geoffrey: Sorry?
- Diana: Your wife is back.
- Geoffrey: Really? She OK?
- Diana: What would you prefer, Geoffrey: an addled slattern or a new-age puddle-duck spouting gibberish?
- Geoffrey: What?
- Diana: You'll see.
- Geoffrey: I must go to her.
- [he starts off, then turns back]
- Geoffrey: If Marion's back, why are you still here?
- Diana: Ah. Yes, well, that's the other thing I wanted to ask you, Geoffrey. I wonder if you would be so kind as to check your main sewage outlet for a small brass key.
- [moves to show she is handcuffed to the car]