WKRP in Cincinnati (TV Series)
Rumors (1981)
Jan Smithers: Bailey Quarters
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Johnny Fever : I let you stay at my place.
Herb Tarlek : Yeah...?
Dr. Johnny Fever : And... and you said if, uh, you could ever return the favor... you would.
Herb Tarlek : I was lying.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Aren't you ashamed having the ethics of a fungus?
Herb Tarlek : Nope.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Herb, I'm desperate. I need a place to stay.
Bailey Quarters : [passing by] Oh? Oh, you can stay at my place.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Really?
Bailey Quarters : Sure.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Bailey, you saved my life! Bless your heart!
Bailey Quarters : Well, it's a messy business, but...
[searches in her handbag]
Bailey Quarters : somebody's gotta do it. Here's my key.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Are you serious?
Bailey Quarters : Mm-hmm.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Okay, this is great! I'm gonna go get my stuff, and I'll see you when you get home. And listen, Bailey, don't worry, I can be very good.
Bailey Quarters : I'm looking forward to it.
[he hurries off]
Les Nessman : Where are you going?
Bailey Quarters : What?
Les Nessman : I didn't know you were going out of town.
Bailey Quarters : I'm not.
Les Nessman : What?
Bailey Quarters : What what?
Herb Tarlek : Well...?
Bailey Quarters : Well what?
Herb Tarlek : You're a woman, he's a man.
Bailey Quarters : Don't be an animal, Herb.
Herb Tarlek : I call 'em as I see 'em.
Bailey Quarters : You know what? I can't believe you guys!
Les Nessman : Well, I'm shocked!
Bailey Quarters : I'm amazed.
Herb Tarlek : I'm stunned.
Arthur Carlson : Well, I guess everything's normal here.
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Jennifer Marlowe : [to Herb and Les] Good morning, gentlemen.
Les Nessman : Morning.
Herb Tarlek : Hi ya, gorgeous. Anything going on?
Jennifer Marlowe : There is that problem in the Middle East.
Herb Tarlek : Yeah.
[shakes his head]
Bailey Quarters : [entering lobby] Good morning.
Jennifer Marlowe : Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed?
Bailey Quarters : Not really. Late night.
Herb Tarlek : I'll bet that's right.
Bailey Quarters : Continuity is so important.
[shakes her head]
Bailey Quarters : Thank you for always being a jerk.
Herb Tarlek : Don't get so upset. You're the talk of the town, sweetheart.
[leaves]
Herb Tarlek : Come on, Les.
Les Nessman : Buzz off, Herb.
[stays]
Jennifer Marlowe : [to Bailey] So how's everything?
Bailey Quarters : Pretty good.
Jennifer Marlowe : That's good.
Bailey Quarters : Mm-hmm.
Jennifer Marlowe : So everything's going great?
Bailey Quarters : Great.
Jennifer Marlowe : That's great.
Bailey Quarters : Mm-hmm.
Jennifer Marlowe : Good.
Bailey Quarters : Real good.
Jennifer Marlowe : So how's Johnny?
Bailey Quarters : Weird.
Les Nessman : Oh, golly!
[storms out in disgust]
Jennifer Marlowe : [smiles] That's interesting. How weird?
Bailey Quarters : You too? Jennifer, what is going on with everybody around here?
[as Mr. Carlson enters:]
Bailey Quarters : What exactly is this?
Arthur Carlson : It's a radio station.
Bailey Quarters : Mr. Carlson, I can promise you, I am doing nothing wrong.
Arthur Carlson : Oh, that's good, Bailey.
[stammers:]
Arthur Carlson : Thanks for telling me that.
-
Bailey Quarters : If that's what they think is going on, if they want to indulge in their petty little rumors, just let them. Let's give them their money's worth!
Dr. Johnny Fever : Excuse the drool here, Bailey, I'm with you, I really am.
Bailey Quarters : Tomorrow at the office...
Dr. Johnny Fever : Uh-huh?
Bailey Quarters : ...I'll tell them that something really did go on here tonight.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Good, that's very good. Why, why be punished for something that we haven't even done yet?
[chuckles]
Bailey Quarters : Let's give them exactly what they want.
Dr. Johnny Fever : [eagerly] What?
Bailey Quarters : I'm gonna do it too.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Me too.
[chuckles]
Bailey Quarters : Goodnight.
[goes off, leaving him standing there]
-
Herb Tarlek : Bailey!
[normally sedate Bailey is wearing denim jeans and rock & roll T-shirt, hair wild and free]
Herb Tarlek : What...? You're supposed to be doing the business... well, business interviews today!
Bailey Quarters : I know.
Herb Tarlek : [scoffs] But these are my clients you're supposed to be interviewing today. What are you doing dressed like that for?
Bailey Quarters : Like what?
Herb Tarlek : [scoffs as he looks at her clothes] Fever's T-shirt.
Bailey Quarters : Oh, I don't know.
[plays with his tie]
Bailey Quarters : I just grabbed the first thing that I could when I got out of bed this morning. I was naked, Herb.
[which leaves him all flustered]
Bailey Quarters : And this was on the bed, so I put it on.
[smirks, then walks towards the others, pretending to be all corrupted innocence:]
Bailey Quarters : You have to have something to keep you warm. Hi, Les.
[winks at him, clicks her tongue, he looks sour, disapproving]
Bailey Quarters : If you know what I mean.
[walks out]
Arthur Carlson : [to Jennifer] Do you know what she means?
Jennifer Marlowe : Yes, I do, Mr. Carlson, and it's very personal. It has to do with rumors and romance, and, I'm sorry, sex.
[ushers him away]
Jennifer Marlowe : Now let's go into your office.
-
Bailey Quarters : [entering, on the warpath] That's it, Andy! I was mad before, really mad. But I just heard that the only reason you gave me Herb's business show is because Les wouldn't do it.
[hands on her hips]
Bailey Quarters : Is that true?
Andy Travis : Uh, well, yeah.
Bailey Quarters : Well, thank you very much, because I'm gonna go ahead and do it.
[voice breaking:]
Bailey Quarters : I'll show you guys.
[walks out, encounters Mr. Carlson]
Arthur Carlson : [under mistaken impression as always] Ah, Bailey! Jennifer just told me about your situation. Gee, I feel badly about it.
Bailey Quarters : Uh, thank you, Mr. Carlson.
Arthur Carlson : No, it's unfair.
Bailey Quarters : Oh, it's all right. Because I like doing what I do.
[Mr. Carlson is speechless]
Bailey Quarters : I get off on it. Les wouldn't do it, but if Les won't do it, I'll do it, right, John?
Dr. Johnny Fever : Right. She likes it.
Arthur Carlson : [glowers at Johnny] You swine.
Bailey Quarters : No, it's fun. I don't have to tell you that, Mr. Carlson.
[chuckles]
Arthur Carlson : Oh, well... No. It's fun. Yes, I...
Bailey Quarters : I live for the opportunity. Thank you.
[leaves]