WKRP in Cincinnati (TV Series)

Jennifer and Johnny's Charity (1982)

Richard Sanders: Les Nessman

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Les Nessman : [on the air]  A following bulletin has just been received on the WKRP teletype. "Monster lizzard ravages east coast. Mayors in five New England cities have issued emergency requests for federal disaster relief as a result of the giant lizzard that descended on the east coast last night. Officials say this lizzard, the worst since '78, has devastated transportation, disrupted communications, and left many hundreds homeless."

  Dr. Johnny Fever : [interrupting]  Monster lizard?

  Les Nessman : The wire service never lies.

  Dr. Johnny Fever : [shutting down the broadcast, then turning it back on after he's done speaking]  Les, the B is out on the printer. It's monster blizzard.

  Les Nessman : [sheepishly]  Oh.

  Dr. Johnny Fever : [shutting down the broadcast again, then turning it back on after he's done speaking]  Are you going to go back on the air?

  Les Nessman : I don't know if I should explain this or just go on.

  Dr. Johnny Fever : [shutting down the broadcast again, then turning it back on after he's done speaking]  Just go on.

  Les Nessman : [happily after a short pause]  Turning to the local scene...

• Jennifer Marlowe : [after yet another disastrous newscast]  Oh, cheer up, Les. This came for you.

  [parcel] 

  Jennifer Marlowe : It's from the Ploughing Patriots of Omaha. I think it's that little award you've been waiting for.

  Les Nessman : Oh, boy!

  [tears into package] 

  Les Nessman : It's the Copper Cob Award!

  [a miniature cob, green and kind of gold, innocuous, yet kind of obviously not a good idea] 

  Les Nessman : Ooh!

  Jennifer Marlowe : [gives it a skeptical look]  Nice.

  Les Nessman : I've gotta go show this to Bailey.

  [on his merry way] 

  Jennifer Marlowe : Oh, dear.