Arthur Carlson: Morning, Bailey.
Bailey Quarters: Mr. Carlson, *Herb* is crazy.
Arthur Carlson: Yes. Go on.
Herb Tarlek: [as Bailey tries explaining] No, wait! Wait a minute! Hold on! Now, no offense, Bailey, but part of your job around here is writing commercials, but you don't do a very good job.
Bailey Quarters: [folding arms, impatiently] How so?
Herb Tarlek: All righty. Don't get upset. I know you're a... journalism school graduate, but you don't know how to put the bite in the old sales message.
Bailey Quarters: [impatiently] For example?
Herb Tarlek: [sneering] For example, this copy from the North Mall Pet Village. Get a load of this, Big Guy. "Wouldn't you like to come home to a cuddly warm little companion like a cocker spaniel?"
Arthur Carlson: [grinning warmly] What's wrong with that? I like it.
Herb Tarlek: Big Guy, they're selling dogs left and right down there. What we gotta do, is move the merchandise that's piling up in the back.
Arthur Carlson: I see.
Bailey Quarters: For example, Herb?
Herb Tarlek: For example, Bailey, this is the way you write one of these things. "*Big* *Snake* *Sale*. Ssssave, ssssave, ssssave. Pick and choosssse, mix and match, everything'ssss marked down. These marvelous petssss are quiet, are fine. Rid your home of pesky rodentssss and unwanted baby chickssss. Sssstartle your friendssss today."