- Abraham Lincoln: I don't remember seeing you at the White House?
- Phineas Bogg: [dressed as a soldier] No Sir, you wouldn't have. I just returned from the front.
- Abraham Lincoln: Oh yeah... what front?
- Phineas Bogg: ...Western front?
- Abraham Lincoln: Ah, it's been a hard campaign up there!
- Phineas Bogg: What happens if the South does win the Civil War?
- Jeffrey Jones: Are you kidding me?
- Phineas Bogg: You're the history book in pants.
- Jane Phillips: You dance beautifully. I suppose you do, uh, everything as well?
- Phineas Bogg: Some things I do much better.
- Jeffrey Jones: You know, I've gotta tell ya, you were really hot out there. I didn't know you could dance like that.
- Phineas Bogg: Are you kidding? Didn't you ever hear of Nijinsky?
- Jeffrey Jones: Come on Bogg. You're not going to tell me you taught Nijinsky how to dance?
- Phineas Bogg: Taught him? Wednesday matinees I was Nijinsky.