- Dr. Byron Orpheus: Oh, it must be dreamy to have a costumed nemesis. Chasing you... wringing his gloved hands in concern of your every move.
- Dr. Venture: You're kidding, right?
- Dr. Byron Orpheus: It just seems so romantic.
- [used the bathroom in the Venture home]
- The Monarch: Honestly, what kind of jackass leaves every door unlocked? I'm not going to flush. Let them see the wrath of the Monarch!
- The Monarch: [on Dr Venture] What can I do to this guy that life hasn't already? I almost feel sorry for him.
- [Dr. Venture is holding a yard sale]
- Brock Samson: I just think that with all your advertising...
- Dr. Venture: Who even opens those ValPaks, anyway?
- Brock Samson: You have some dangerous machinery for sale here; I think you're beggin' for trouble on this one.
- Dr. Venture: I thought you handled all that. And I don't hear any big ideas from you on how to get some quick cash; come on! Most of this stuff is old crap my dad left behind.
- Brock Samson: DOC! YOU HAVE A TABLE OVER THERE WITH A SIGN THAT SAYS, "LASER DEATH RAY BARGAIN BIN!"
- The Monarch: With every fiber of my being I stab at thee, as long as blood flows through this heart, I will hunt you down! I will be the stuff of your children's nightmares!
- Dr. Venture: What's he doing now?
- Dean Venture: He's making his dramatic exit.
- Dr. Venture: This could take all night, I'm gonna get Brock.
- Hank Venture: I think he's almost done.
- The Monarch: And then, when nothing can be heard but your cries of agony, I will pull the chain and let the beast devour you! Mark my words: I will have my revenge, DR. VENTURE!
- The Monarch: [inside Dr. Venture's laboratory] Oh my god, look at this place. It's like a museum of failure.
- Dr. Girlfriend: Sweetie, isn't that the guy from Depeche Mode?
- The Monarch: Oh, no way! Where? Holy crap, he's with a girl?
- Dr. Girlfriend: Oh yeah, that guy is totally straight. I saw a whole thing about him on the VH-1.
- The Monarch: But he's the guy from Depeche Mode! It's impossible.
- Dr. Girlfriend: Straight.
- The Monarch: Come on! He's in Depeche Mode!
- [in Dr. Venture's laboratory]
- The Monarch: Here I am in the heart of the lion's den and I don't even care!
- [indicating a machine]
- The Monarch: I don't even feel like taking a whizz on this! I used to DREAM about taking a whizz on this!